Why calling your partner ‘Mummy’ or ‘Daddy’ could be killing your sex life
Calling your partner by these pet names might be the secret culprit behind a dwindling sex life. Jana Hocking delivers some surprising relationship advice.
When I first started this column as a single girl trying to navigate the ever-changing dating scene, did I think I would one day be offering smug sex advice to loved-up parents?
No, I did not.
But I was gifted a piece of advice this week that was so shocking I felt it was my duty to pass it on to those among us who have already got themselves shacked up.
Now, before I begin a word of warning; parents prepare yourselves because what I’m about to tell you is something that once you hear it, can’t be unheard.
And you may be a little mortified to discover that you’re doing this one thing daily, and it’s really taking a jackhammer to your sexy time.
I stumbled upon this information as I was stomping my way around Centennial Park doing my daily hot girl walk and listening to my favourite podcast called Diary of a CEO.
Don’t let the title fool you; he talks to some fascinating guests who aren’t all CEOs (snore!)
On this particular episode, host Steven Bartlett was chatting to celebrity therapist Marisa Peer, and they got onto the topic of sex drives.
Yep, that one thing we’re all afraid of losing or have lost before and know how hard it can be to get back.
So I leaned in.
Marisa covered all the basic issues when it comes to sex drives, but the one thing that floored me was when she said parents who call each other ‘Mummy’ or ‘Daddy’ are on a fast track to separate bedrooms.
She explains: “The minute your partner is in any way being referred to as ‘Mummy’ or ‘Daddy’ you subconsciously don’t want to have sex with them because who wants to have sex with their parents.
“That’s really weird.”
Now, you may be thinking, “Huh?! I don’t call my partner that” – but think about how you talk to your partner in front of your kids.
Do you say things like, “Johnny, tell Mummy about what happened at school today” or “Sarah, did you tell Daddy what award you won at choir practice?”
Yep, I bet you do it all the time without noticing.
Side note: As a single girl, I have to say I noticed it with a couple of friends. And I have always found it a bit ick.
Marisa further explained, “What many people don’t realise is that when they’ve been in a long
relationship with someone they’ve procreated with, they tend to take on the role of a parent in every form, and that translates back in the bedroom.
“It leaves you with little to no desire left. When you give each other parental titles, you’re now putting each other in a parental mindset.”
All together now, ewww!
And it’s not just partners with kids. Oh no.
It turns out many loved-up folks who co-own a pet together do it as well.
You know who you are, the ones who call each other ‘Mummy’ or ‘Daddy’ when discussing the furry creatures.
For example, you might say, “Daddy, can you take Buddy outside for a pee-pee?”.
Stop it. Stop it right now.
You would fare better between the sheets if you simply said, “Oi Danny, can you take Buddy outside so he can go to the toot.”
So I think we’ve learnt something important here: that cute nickname you gave you’re loved one to form a family bond is actually deflating your sex drive.
And while we’re on the topic, I would like to add my own versions of Mummy and Daddy that need to be put on a banned list.
Not just for couples, but us singletons as well.
Let’s start with one very similar one I’ve touched on before.
You know, when I was ranting about a former fling who asked me to call him Daddy in the bedroom. I couldn’t kick him out of my apartment faster.
Yep, that can go in the bin.
Let’s also throw ‘bub’ in there as well.
That gives me the SUPER creeps.
There’s nothing more disturbing than watching fully grown adult couples call each other ‘bub’ in public.
And if you even dare to chat with each other in baby talk, I will disown you as friends or acquaintances quick smart.
You could use so many other words to address each other that are informal yet keep the spark alive.
May I suggest something along the lines of Baby, Babe, Honey or – heck – even Sunshine could do the trick?
Not Darling, though; that just sounds obnoxious, especially if you are under the age of 65.
So, if you want to have a hot, sexy, lusty sex life, keep the paternal stuff right out of the picture.
Otherwise, you’re in for a very dull love life.
Don’t just take my word for it; the experts agree.
Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking
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