Kate Iselin asks: Will sex robots save the world?

As sex robot brothels open around the world, Kate Iselin asks if the answer to loneliness specialised AI romantic robots.

Kate Iselin

5 min read

November 11, 2018 - 11:07PM

When I was a kid I used to watch television shows like The Jetsons and Lost in Space and wonder, in awe, about what the future would look like.

Would we be jetting off to distant galaxies for weekends away? Would we be supping on soylent and munching cubes of space food that miraculously contained all the necessary nutrients in a single bite? Would we have robot pets, robot friends, and robot families?

So far the answer to all of that is no. We haven’t visited any distant galaxies — yet — and sometimes I struggle to find the motivation to visit a different suburb, let alone a different planet.

I haven’t traded in my kale and mushroom sourdough for a plate of soylent, and the closest I’ve gotten to having a robot in my family was the Tamagotchi I got for Christmas in primary school.

There is, however, one aspect of our relatively unexciting modern life that’s beginning to look spookily futuristic, and it’s occurring in the bedroom.

Sex robots are coming: both literally and figuratively speaking.

The humble blow-up doll has had a new-millennium makeover, and anyone with a spare $10,000 or so can now buy a fully-automated fembot, with customisable appearance, multiple moods and personalities, and totally lifelike genitalia.

On Monday night’s Q&A, an audience member posed the question of whether sex robots are a happy solution for those struggling to find and maintain intimate relationships, or an avenue of avoidance for those who struggle with social anxiety?

It’s a fair enough question, and it’s part of a larger debate I have seen occurring around the topics of ethics, artificial intelligence, and sex.

Sex robots haven’t just been suggested as a cure for the lonely and socially-anxious, they have also been put forward as a replacement for human sex workers.

While “robot brothels” of some form or another have existed in Europe for a little over a year now, the world’s first “consent-focused” brothel has plans to open in the United States in 2019. Potential visitors are encouraged to download an app and “get to know” their mechanical mistresses prior to visiting, in the hopes that forming a relationship this way will lead to a greater respect for the robot and, in turn, its consent.

Whether a robot can consent to any act, sexual or otherwise, is a debate in of itself, but it’s not the first time that the topic has been raised.

Nikki Goldstein, who was a panellist on Monday’s episode of Q&A, spoke about seeing a sex robot at a trade show that looked disturbingly childlike.

Although she was told the robot was simply an adult of smaller-stature, she said the issue was still a “scary” one.

Similarly unnerving is the Roxxxy robot from True Companion, which arrives with pre-programmed personalities like Wild Wendy and S&M Susan.

All this sounds pretty aboveboard, but she also comes with Young Yoko — a “naïve and curious” personality — and Frigid Farrah, who is “very reserved” and “does not always like to engage in sexual activities”.

While some may say Frigid Farrah and Young Yoko provide training grounds for inexperienced robot-lovers to learn about consent, others have put forward that the only reason these boundaries exist is so they could be violated for the user’s enjoyment.

While I’m all for everyone being able to explore their sexual fantasies and desires, I have to say that the idea of childlike sex robots — or adult sex robots programmed to resist a user’s advances — leaves me feeling more than a little creeped out.

Maybe it’s my technophobic side, but it also feels depressing that these robots are being suggested as a stand-in for genuine human connection.

Unless someone has a particular fetish for robots, then surely the companionship of another person is irreplaceable?

Maybe this a sign that we, as a society, are putting far too much blind faith in technology. Or do we simply have a depressingly dim view of the way male sexuality works?

It’s worth noting that there are very few mentions of sex robots being made for women: is it because women are generally assumed to have more complex emotional needs in the bedroom, whereas male desires are usually centred around the physical?

While I can’t imagine that Wild Wendy or S&M Susan would appeal to me, I do have to wonder what a male robot programmed to be appealing to women would look like.

Would he bound out of his box with his Butch Bob personality switched-on and ready to go?

After all, I have always found it weirdly appealing to see a man building something, and it would be great to have a hand with those little jobs around the house that I’ve been putting off for months.

I’d probably flick the switch to Gourmet Gary after that and command him to cook me dinner, then afterwards I could pour myself a glass of wine and listen to Woke Wayne nod and agree with me on the politics of the day.

When it comes to the bedroom, I’d probably have a difficult time choosing between Dominant Dave and Emotionally-Available Evan, but I guess that’s the best thing about our bright new robotic future: I wouldn’t have to!

Once the lights are off and we’re under the covers, it’d be Dominant Dave all the way; but for a Sunday night Netflix-and-chill sesh, I’d have to pick Emotionally-Available Evan.

We could cuddle and talk about our feelings, but I predict some awkwardness when it comes time to discuss the future.

I’m a mere mortal, and Evan will live forever. He will go suspiciously quiet when I mention that we should combine our superannuation as part of our retirement plan, and I have to wonder: behind his blank stare, does he see a future filled with dystopian horror that he dare not verbalise? Or has he simply run out of battery again?

Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t think I’ll be saving up to buy a sex robot any time soon.

I much prefer the real thing; and on the nights when it’s not available, I always have my trusty vibrator in a drawer next to the bed.

It’s smooth and cylindrical, like a scale model of a UFO, and bears little to no resemblance of the anatomy its shape is based on: just the way I like it.

— Kate Iselin is a writer and sex worker. Continue the conversation on Twitter @kateiselin

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