‘I’ve seen a lot of older virgins over the years’

Sydney escort Ryan James has seen a noticeable change in the women seeking out his services – and his clients aren’t who you might expect.

This week I got to spend half an hour asking male escort and porn star Ryan James any darned question I liked – and it was fascinating.

Who are his clients? What kind of requests does he get? How does he date while working in the sex industry? Do partners get jealous? Do clients fall for him? What is the most hectic porn scene he has ever filmed?

Ryan answered all of that and so much more!

Jana Hocking had half an hour with Sydney escort Ryan James. Picture: Instagram @ryanjamessydney

I’m embarrassed to say I went into this chat with very low expectations and my judgmental hat on. I know, I know, surely by now I’ve learnt not to judge a book by its cover.

Ryan James left his cushy job in finance for a career sleeping with women of every make and model, and I just couldn’t work out who would want to do that. We’ve all got a type when it comes to attraction, and what happens if you’re expected to perform with someone who doesn’t fit the criteria?

However a mutual friend assured me that he would take me by surprise. And that, he did, dear reader.

He greeted me with a voice that instantly got me a little hot under the collar. He was articulate and attractive. Not in a creepy ‘hen’s stripper’ kind of way. More in a smooth, intelligent kind of way. Think Christian Grey.

Ryan James is Australia’s answer to Christian Grey. Picture: Ryan-James.com.au

The main thing I really wanted to know was, who the heck hires his services? My guess was middle-aged women whose husbands had left them for someone younger. A woman who was looking to get her oomph back. (Who could blame them!)

But he revealed that, no, this is not actually his main clientele. He said that, unlike a few years ago when it was mostly older women in their fifties and sixties, he was now booked by many women in their 30s.

However, he said: “The thing with younger clients is that, they don’t have as much money, so it tends to be a one-off experience.”

So who are these saucy singletons requiring a good sh*g? Well it turns out many of them are virgins who have decided enough is enough, and they want to lose it to a professional who will help them come out of their shell.

“I’ve seen quite a few virgins over the years. They’re usually shy and nervous, but come in with an attitude that’s just, ‘Let’s do this!’ I’ve seen clients who are in their 40s and still virgins,” he said.

Ryan James sees a lot of younger women these days. Picture: Instagram @ryanjamessydney

Some of his clients are virgins who want to just ‘do this’. Picture: Instagram @ryanjamessydney

Then there are the women who have always described themselves as technically lesbian but are curious to see what it would be like to sleep with a man. One woman in her fifties had only ever slept with women and decided that before she kicked the bucket, she would like to give it a go. Money well spent.

He said there are many women out there who are romantically attracted to women, but sexually attracted to men, and that’s where he comes into the picture.

He’s also had clients who felt shamed in their last relationships and were hoping to feel good about themselves again. He told me about one client who had just broken up with her boyfriend because he had issues in the bedroom with maintaining an erection and would blame her. She couldn’t let go of the shame and after one night with him, she was feeling much better about herself. Listen, not all heroes wear capes, or many clothes at all, as it turns out.

Not all heroes wear capes. Or even clothes. Picture: Ryan-James.com.au

So, I think it’s safe to say he dispelled many myths and beliefs I had about who would use a male escort. I felt a little foolish after our chat, and it really was a timely reminder that life doesn’t run in a straight line, and nor should it.

And good lord, if I had stayed listening to his sexy tenor of a voice much longer, I may very well have put a spot in my diary for some one-on-one time.

Meanwhile, for those of you wondering what was the most hectic scene he’s ever filmed for a pornographic film … well you’re just going to have to download this week’s Kinda Sorta Dating podcast episode, because phwoar it is NSFW. Just make sure you’re wearing headphones. You’ve been warned.

Jana Hocking is a podcaster and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking