Common X-rated confession of ‘straight’ men

It’s a “saucy secret” that Jana Hocking hears from men at least five times a week. And it always starts with the same disclaimer.

Jana Hocking reveals common X-rated confession of ‘straight’ men.

Something has become abundantly clear to me lately, as in it keeps slapping me in the face on a weekly basis. It’s that there are a LOT of men still hiding in the closet. Kinda, sorta.

And we women are dating them.

While the younger generation are now very comfortable with their bisexuality, millions of men around the globe are secretly hooking up with their mates and then going home to their partners.

How do I know? These men tell me on a weekly basis!

Every Monday I throw out a question to my Instagram followers that simply states: “Tell me a saucy secret”. While shifting through the hundreds of cheating confessions – that I’ll be honest, are getting a little boring (does nobody stay monogamous anymore?) – I find the same confession coming up time and time again.

They always start with the same thing: “I’m not gay but” or “I’m straight but” … and then they proceed to go into details about the times they’ve hooked up with mates “just for a laugh” or “I was really drunk.”

Jana Hocking has many “straight” men tell her they’ve hooked up with male friends. Picture: Instagram

Take these ones for example …

“I straight up f****d a guy and I am NOT gay. Apparently, I was horny … and tequila drunk.”

Now here’s the thing with that confession., thou doth protest too much. The capital “NOT” and the use of the word “apparently” makes me think the guy is slightly in denial. Dude, you hooked up with a guy and by the sounds of it, enjoyed it. Who cares? Only you.

Then there was this one:

“No word of a lie, I have s****d a lot of d**k, a lot of straight men whose wives don’t play with them. High profile policemen, fireman and businessmen who are happy to pay for an overnight stay … and I am a man.”

And the confessions go on and on and on. Seriously, I get at least five of these confessions a week.

Jana Hocking is regularly sent sex confessions by men. Picture: Instagram

Jana wonder if they are really not gay like they claim. Picture: Instagram

Now, to most people I’m sure this would come as a surprise but as someone who has a lot of gay friends, I can say with certainty it does not. I hear about my male friends hooking up with ‘straight’ guys on a regular basis. So why are these men so firmly hidden in the closet?

Because you men are closed books. I mean, the number of times I’ve been at a boozy ladies lunch and the conversation has started with, “So, LOL I hooked up with Sarah last weekend” or “Yeah, I pashed a girl it was kinda fun but I don’t think it’s for me” or “I’ve had a threesome before” is fairly stock standard.

It doesn’t really register on the ‘shock scale’ because we women are an open book. Can’t keep a secret to save ourselves, and why should we. Hooking up with a fellow friend is hardly scandalous these days. To women that is. Men on the other hand, well they tend to keep it locked up like a dirty secret.

And yet, many of you are doing it.

Now, I’ve always said the truth comes out when you’re tipsy. Heck, I’ve spilt the beans on far too many occasions after a martini or two. Damn you gin!

So sure, we can go with the whole “oopsy daisy, I accidently gave my mate a b**w job after a boozy night” thing. But did you. Did. You.

When you take the stigma away, it means diddly squat. You’re not gay. You’re just experimenting. Unless you like it and want to keep doing it, then you’ve probably got to ask yourself a few tough questions.

These days, you can be pansexual, gender fluid, straight, bisexual, gay and everything in-between. In fact, Shane Jenek (aka Courtney Act) has even coined these men ‘heteroflexible’.

In a 2018 interview with attitude magazine he revealed he’s had relationships with straight-identifying men who have initially been attracted his drag persona Courtney Act saying: “I’ve had relationships both sexual and emotional with straight identifying men. There’s something problematic with the idea straight men can be ‘turned’ and the binary of gay and straight and the lack of knowledge of the Kinsey scale.”

And I’m guessing many people don’t know what the Kinsey scale is. In fact, I had to google it myself last year. It’s also called the Heterosexual – Homosexual Rating Scale, and it’s used in research to describe a person’s sexual orientation based on one’s experience or response at a given time. The scale typically ranges from 0, meaning exclusively heterosexual, to a 6, meaning exclusively homosexual – and everyone sits on it at different ratings. In fact, many studies have found you can change where you sit on it at any age. Hence why we are seeing so many people come out later in life.

It’s not scandalous, it’s not groundbreaking, and in an ideal world it would be nice to accept everyone as they come. No matter where their sexual preferences lie.

So while I am very much happy to accept men’s confessions each week about hooking up with other gents, can we stop starting them with “I’m not gay but…”. Do we really need to make it feel like a dirty little secret anymore. I think not.

Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking