’When my open marriage went wrong’

Samantha Pressdee, 39, has detailed exactly when and how her open marriage took a turn for the worst.

After nine months of marriage, I could not help feeling there was something missing from my relationship.

My husband Louis Ntritsos had moved from Greece to London to live with me – and this is when the cracks started to show.

Samantha with her husband, Louis Ntritsos, on their wedding day. Picture: Samantha Pressdee

Up until then we had enjoyed a long-distance relationship for four years. But now we were arguing about everything from money to work and our sex life dwindled.

I felt suffocated and missed the excitement you get from new love.

Restless and bored, I brought up the idea of an open relationship.

Naively, I believed “free love” could reignite our relationship. Louis was terrified that if I started sleeping with another man I would prefer him. But he reluctantly agreed.

I reasoned that having an open marriage would be better than cheating on one another.

It was a few months later when I went on my first date – with a former flame. As I slipped into my little black dress I could see the panic spread on Louis’ face.

Planting kisses on him, I told him not to worry and that I loved him and would always be his.

Around this time - about a year into our marriage - Louis moved back to Greece to work as a sports instructor for the summer. We agreed I would visit regularly.

Our open marriage rules were simple: always be honest with one another.

So, when I slept with my ex I called him straight away.

I imagined him on the beach chatting up girls in bikinis. But he said he wasn’t interested in cheating and didn’t want other women.

So our “open relationship” was in reality one-sided. Louis hated thinking of me with other men. But even though he was crazy with jealousy he didn’t ask for a divorce.

He just became more miserable and couldn’t get over the fact I’d slept with another man.

I confessed I still had feelings for my ex and we’d grown close, which made him feel more insecure. He couldn’t understand how I could love two men at the same time.

Although he admitted to kissing other women, he told me he’d never had sex with them.

But the tables turned when I found out that he had been sleeping with someone else, too.

After nine months of marriage, Samantha felt that something was missing from her relationship. Picture: Samantha Pressdee

A friend showed me a loved-up photo of him. He was forced to come clean - and I was heartbroken.

Yes, it was my idea to have an open relationship but I felt betrayed because he had lied and hidden it from me. It went against the rules. I felt humiliated.

We separated for two years, remaining friends, but the trust was lost. Then in 2017, I went on holiday to Rhodes and we rekindled our love.

Due to the long distance, we tried an open relationship again. But this time I made it clear there were to be no secret girlfriends.

He agreed and for the first time in years I felt hopeful about our future. We were planning on having a baby, even.

But my happiness was crushed when one year into our reunion I found out he’d been sleeping with another British girl.

What’s more, she didn’t respect the idea of a polyamorous marriage and wanted us to break up. She was also in a relationship and her boyfriend didn’t know about the affair.

Unbeknown to me, she had been flying from Manchester to Greece to see Louis. I was furious.

I made him show me all of the messages they had exchanged. As I scrolled through them, I felt sick.

Not only had they been secretly seeing each other for the best part of two years but he’d told her he was in love with her and they were planning to stay together – in a monogamous relationship.

Furious, I filed for divorce. How could he be trying for a baby with me when he was planning a future with her? We have remained good friends but our divorce was finalised in December 2019.

It felt like a new beginning.

Samantha is now single and dating but will never entertain an open relationship again. Picture: Paul Tonge – The Sun

Now I’m living in Willenhall, West Mids, and working as a comedian.

I’m single and dating. But I’d never entertain an open relationship again. The experience has scarred me.

I only want one man now and I hope I’ll be enough for him.

For those thinking of an open relationship, my message is, think twice. I blame myself for my husband’s infidelity.

Love isn’t about rules, it’s about honesty and respect. The love between two people is precious — and so easy to destroy.

His side of the story

Louis, 37, from Kos, Greece, says: “It was hard when Samantha asked me for an open relationship. I was afraid of losing her and wanted her to be happy.

“But she told me it would make us stronger. In the end I agreed but deep down I was worried.

“When I watched her get ready for her first date I felt very jealous. It was crazy and I didn’t want to know what they got up to.

“I didn’t see any other women for the first year. Then I met this girl and we started sleeping together. Samantha thinks I cheated on her but I thought I was just doing what she wanted.

“But she told me I was doing it the wrong way because I didn’t tell her. I didn’t tell her anything because I thought I was protecting her. I was trying to be a gentleman by sparing her the details.

“We broke up for two years and in that time I saw other women. Then when we got back together Samantha told me she wanted an open relationship again. But I should have been honest that I was seeing another woman.

“I’m sorry for hurting her, I hated seeing her upset. Samantha is the love of my life. I still love her and will always love her.

“I’d never have an open relationship again. I still don’t understand it. I was never trying to cheat on her, I just didn’t understand the rules.”

This story originally appeared in The Sun and has been reproduced with permission.