Married man reveals to Samantha X why he really sees escorts

A man has opened up to escort Samantha X about why he started seeing sex workers – ultimately destroying his marriage of 20 years.

At the beginning of his relationship with his now ex-wife, Mark (not his real name) loved when she would wear racy lingerie in the bedroom.

“I love lingerie (on women), and I always have,” he told escort and journalist Samantha X on podcast Slow Love.

But as the years passed, the occasions Mark’s wife would wear suspenders and stockings for her husband less often.

He would still buy lingerie for her but find it stashed in the back of the wardrobe, with the issue becoming symbolic of a bigger problem at play in their marriage.

“When we first met she wore a lot of lingerie and liked wearing it. Later on there was some she’d wear,” Mark said.

“She wasn’t willing to be wearing it more, but we didn’t tell each other that.”

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Mark always loved when his wife wore lingerie. Picture: iStock

During the last years of his marriage Mark began seeing escorts, including Samantha X, keeping it a secret from his wife.

He would often request they wear suspenders and stockings during their encounters, however, that wasn’t the only reason he would see them.

“It wasn’t that I wasn’t necessarily getting that (lingerie and sex) in my marriage, it was more we weren’t close to each other intimately in the marriage at all.”

Mark said he had his wife of 20 years had a “typical” relationship before they got married, however cracks began to appear as the years wore on.

“In my case the communication just dropped off through a number of years and as a result we moved apart, very little intimacy,” he said, admitting he had been a “workaholic”.

“And I accept a big part of that was me not realising how hard you’ve got to work in a relationship, in a marriage. It’s never one person’s fault.”

Mark believes men, more than women, need sex in a long-term relationship and that the lack of communication in his marriage led to a lack of bedroom action.

“Men, I think more so than women, still need a physical release and enjoyment,” he said.

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Samantha X’s client Mark spoke about why he saw escorts for podcast Slow Love. Picture: supplied

While Mark did enjoy seeing escorts as a “bit of enjoyment and a treat” he admits he felt guilty about being unfaithful to his wife.

But seeing a sex worker can be addictive as it gives men the intimacy they are craving in their long-term relationships, as well as a chance to explore their sexuality in private, he explained.

“I think it can be (addictive), you like it, you might see an escort for a short while and if you enjoy it then you’ll get on to seeing them for two hours or for four hours or overnight,” Mark said.

Mark believes it’s impossible not to develop feelings if you’ve seen an escort over a longer period.

“I know it’s a transaction and not a real-world relationship … but you’re inhuman to not develop some feelings,” he said.

“I think men who do see escorts regularly at some point they’ll have the dream of thinking, ‘Can it happen in real life?’”

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Mark told Samantha he has split from his wife and is now happy staying single and seeing escorts.

Despite Mark and his wife’s best efforts to save their marriage, it fell apart. She discovered he had being seeing escorts during their split.

“She was very hurt. She felt humiliated and there was a lack of trust,” Mark said.

“I took it on the chin. I did apologise to her and said I know I’d hurt her, but I didn’t try to really explain it. We were sort of in separation so it was too late.”

For now Mark says he is “happy being single” and seeing escorts “probably every few months”.

“It’s no strings attached as to the physical intimacy, (I) enjoy the sense of dressing up and going out for a nice evening,” he told Samantha X, real name Amanda Goff.

Mark would stop seeing escorts if he was to begin a serious relationship again, however, he admits it is a “bit of a worry”.

“I do think that it’s going to be quite hard (to give up seeing escorts),” he said.

“It’s going to depend on meeting the right person and feeling like there’s just a real connection.”

Listen to Mark’s full interview with Samantha X on Slow Love, a podcast hosted by PHD researcher in dating apps and intimacy, Lisa Portolan