‘I refused to speak to my ex for years – then we got remarried’

After their divorce, Daniell and Tim Curtis refused to speak for years – then she sent him an email that changed their lives.

Daniell Curtis on why she remarried her ex-husband. Picture: Supplied

Daniell Curtis, 42, from Dunbogan, NSW, thought she’d left her husband for good. She tells her story in her own words.

I first met my husband Tim Curtis through online dating, on January 9, 2002.

I was a recently divorced, single mum of two kids, Gavin, then 4, and Shawdai, 2, and I was nervous about meeting someone new.

When he asked to meet for dinner, I thought, why not? There was no denying Tim was handsome, but he also looked like lots of fun.

Chatting over dinner and margaritas, I felt an immediate spark, and we bonded over a shared love of travel. The connection between us was so strong, we didn’t want the date to end.

The next day, I felt confident enough to tell him about my kids.

“I can’t wait to meet them,” Tim said with a smile, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

From the start, he made a huge effort, arranging a trip to an animal park for us.

Still, I took things slowly. We didn’t even kiss for six weeks, but when it finally happened, it was amazing. I knew this was love.

When Tim proposed on April 9, 2003, I was giddy. This kind and hardworking man loved me and my children.

In January 2004, exactly two years after our first date, we became husband and wife in what felt like a fairytale, and 18 months later, Tim officially adopted my children.

Daniell and Tim Curtis were married in 2004. Picture: Supplied

This handsome prince had ridden into town and saved us. But that became part of the problem. If you don’t leave any room for error, you’re guaranteed to be disappointed.

For years, we were happy, having three more beautiful children, Jaren, Brinlee and Keiran.

We also ran a successful business.

Then in 2012, we were impacted by the global financial crisis. We were forced to move when Tim got a new job. And after he took another role as a naval architect, he often worked long hours.

Soon our communication broke down and we became resentful towards each other, before calling it quits in 2015.

The fairytale was over.

Daniell and Tim broke up after having three more children. Picture: Supplied

When Tim sent divorce papers a few months later I felt relief, but also heartbreak.

The love was still there, but buried so deep underneath rage and blame, I couldn’t feel it.

For the next two years the kids shuffled back and forth between us, but Tim and I refused to speak.

We dated other people and tried to rebuild our lives.

In 2017, with the help of my counsellor, I realised that if I was ever going to find peace, I needed to forgive Tim – and myself.

So, I wrote him an email.

I took responsibility for my part in the marriage break-up and told him that I supported how he co-parented the kids.

Six months later I was amazed to see a reply.

“Why don’t we meet and talk about it in person?” he wrote.

Walking into dinner to see Tim in May 2018, I was nervous. I’d bought a new dress, wanting to look my best.

Still, the connection between us surprised me. It was the same spark I’d felt on our first date.

Within days our messages turned flirty, and he started making secret visits to my apartment, not wanting to get the kids’ hopes up.

The secrecy brought back the fun of our early dates.

The kids guessed before long though, after we subconsciously started holding hands at Brinlee’s 10th birthday party.

They were thrilled when we moved in together a few weeks later.

When talk turned to remarrying, there was no big proposal, we just both knew that we wanted to wed again.

So on January 9, 2019, the kids witnessed us signing our marriage licence at home, then we celebrated with a Mexican meal and margaritas, just as we had on our first date.

Daniell and Tim signed their marriage licence in 2019. Picture: Supplied

They celebrated with Mexican food and margaritas. Picture: Supplied

Nine months later, in October 2019, we relocated from the US to Dunbogan, NSW, for Tim’s work and since then life has been wonderful.

I don’t expect perfection as we have something much better – a happy, loving marriage based on respect and communication.

Tim and Daniell marking 20 years since they met. Picture: Supplied

While our love story may not be conventional, I feel that we’ve taught our kids Gavin, now 24, Shawdai, 23, Jaren, 17, Brinlee, 13, and Keiran, 11, that relationships aren’t always easy, but the right ones are worth fighting for.

January was 20 years since the day we met online, and three years since I said, “I do – again” to my wonderful husband!

Kate Graham is a freelance writer.