Wellington woman shares her how to have an affair cheating guide

A woman who slept with a married man from work for three years and was never caught has shared her brazen advice to cheating scot-free.

A New Zealand woman who had an affair with a married colleague has written a lengthy guide on how to get away with being a mistress.

The Wellington woman said her tips were borne from her own experience of having slept with a married man for three years, with her advice including tips on where and how to have sex in a car.

Jessica*, whose real name has not been identified, told NZ publication Newshub her three-year affair began when she became attracted to a colleague with “boyish looks and a sparkling grin” following a team workshop several years ago.

She decided to stay back for a glass of wine – which eventually led to a “well hidden” romance between the two.

“He made a joke that wasn’t funny, but it still made me laugh. I wanted to look at that grin a while longer,” she told the publication.

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After having an affair for three years, a New Zealand woman (not pictured) has detailed how to cheat without getting caught. Picture: File picture/iStock

Jessica said the man, who was 10 years older than her, often complained about his marriage.

He and his wife had just had their third child and, according to Jessica, the only attention his wife would afford him was complaining when he wasn’t home by 4pm.

Both Jessica and the man enjoyed socialising, something he told Jessica his wife didn’t like to do.

She said it sparked the beginning of “three years of fun” falling deeper into an “addictive infatuation pit”.

She said while the affair was “exhilarating” you will feel emotions you never knew existed, adding that you will question your every thought and lose a lot of sleep.

“It is therefore imperative to follow these tips,” she said, listing her “tips and tricks to a successful affair”.

RELATED: ‘Cheating’ husband exposed by hotel selfie

She said while the affair was ‘exhilarating’ you will feel emotions you never knew existed, question your every thought and lose a lot of sleep. Picture: iStock

Jessica’s ‘cheating guide’:

1. Ensure you’ve picked someone who you have nothing in common with. A simple person with few interests. Attractions work better when you 100 per cent know you can never be soulmates.

2. Pick someone who says they’re happy with their wife/partner. Affairs are short-lived and not, I’m sorry to say, your next serious relationship in waiting.

3. Select a channel for messaging and set rules, e.g. no messages after 9pm if he’s in bed then. Commit to scrupulously deleting every conversation. I recommend Messenger or WhatsApp, silencing notifications and making sure it’s not the first app on your home screen.

4. Try not to ever meet in the evenings or use the “working late” excuse too many times. Pick hotels with private access such as a TraveLodge or hotels in a building shared with other businesses.

She shared her ‘cheating guide’ which recommends choosing hotels with private access. Picture: iStock

5. Never try to meet or contact the spouse. I made this fatal mistake. Consider yourself warned.

6. Always have a “go-to story” for if ever the worst case happens. Recite this together and keep it filed in your brain ready to repeat on command: “It was just one time, he couldn’t maintain an erection anyway – it was just a terrible mistake.”

7. Set regular time aside to be together, find a few good quiet spots you can go to for lunch or an after-work drink or two. Consider the suburban pubs and botanic gardens.

8. You can have great sex in a car – it’s not like your teenage memories. You can make a lot of space in a back seat by putting front seats forward as much as possible.

She also advised ‘don’t do it again’ because ‘you got lucky’. Picture: iStock

9. Never pay for hotels on a credit card. Or apply for a new credit card with a separate bank to your usual household accounts.

10. The most important tip: Try not to fall in love. Affairs only serve to fill a void of some kind.

11. Don’t buy too many new clothes. This is one of the obvious signs written about since the dawn of time. It will be noticed. My affair partner bought a new shirt every week that first year.

12. Don’t do it again. You got lucky!