TikTok embraces ‘short king’ height difference dating trend
The days of dating a tall man could be behind us – with TikTok users heralding the “official” arrival of the “short king” dating trend.
If you’re a woman who’s ever scrolled through Tinder, you’ll no doubt have come across a bio with what has historically been a pretty common disclosure: “I’m 6’3 if that matters”.
But the end of that era – men divulging their height in a bid to appear more desirable to potential matches – could, at last, be upon us.
In an op-ed for i-D this week, London-based writer Laura Pitcher heralded the “official” (TikTok-approved) arrival of “short king spring”.
“Just in time for the spring equinox, the internet has proposed that tall men have dominated the dating scene for too long, and we’re sensing something in the air this season,” Pitcher wrote.
While the concept of a “short king” isn’t new – comedian Jaboukie Young-White wrote of them in a viral 2018 tweet – it’s entered our collective consciousness over the last 12 months, bolstered by celebrity relationships like Zendaya’s, who is 179cm tall, with her Spider-Man co-star Tom Holland, who’s 6cm shorter in stature.
US publication The Cut was early to the party – writer Sangeeta Singh-Kurtz declared in December 2020 that the year had not just been marked by the pandemic, but by the reign of men less than six feet tall.
“In the way the big d**k energy suggests an intangible charisma, the short king’s height only compounds their magnetism,” Singh-Kurtz wrote, referencing the sex appeal of everyone from Irish actor Paul Mescal and Succession’sKieran Culkin to US Covid figurehead Dr Anthony Fauci.
“As Miles Klee wrote in Mel several years ago, the short king ‘celebrates his height, always wearing it well. He’s never been envious of a six-foot-plus dude’s gawky frame, and he sure as hell doesn’t add inches to his own measurements to impress anyone … For him, shortness is not a liability, but an advantage – it’s crisply elegant and efficient’.”
And last October, it started circulating on TikTok by way of a viral trend where women labelled their tall boyfriends “short king” and filmed their reactions.
“The results revealed deeply-rooted insecurities from tall men, however, the phrase was then reclaimed by short men themselves on the app,” Pitcher said.
“Women then got involved by expressing their desire to date shorter men and saying that ‘anyone taller than 5’11 no longer qualifies’. Happy couples have also started posting TikToks celebrating their height difference.”
For Sydney writer and podcast host Melissa Mason – who was “obsessed with height and would overlook so many red flags if a guy was over 6’2” when she was dating in her early 20s – the shift in our mentality is “less about the normalisation of dating outside of a height prerequisite and more about a wider relaxation of superficial dating must-haves”.
“I’ve noticed more celebration of connection over finding someone who isn’t traditionally ‘attractive’ physically,” the Jeans & A Nice Top co-host told news.com.au.
“What’s hot now is that chemistry you get with another person, and it’s probably the way we share about our lives (celebrities included) where we see the truly candid side of relationships that’s fuelled this.
“We’ve stopped believing that we need someone to tick all our boxes for the relationship to work, and realised that attraction isn’t limited to physical appearance.”
A recent University of Chicago and MIT study about “mate preferences and matching outcomes in online dating” found that shorter men need to earn more money to be deemed equally attractive to taller men.
Like Pitcher, who wrote that some women’s “bias [for tall men] is clearly rooted in misogyny” (as well as ableism and racism), Mason agreed that height discrimination is “absolutely” an issue of “ingrained sexism”.
“When you think about it, the conversation around wanting a ‘big’ man – tall, broad, strong – is rooted in [women] wanting to feel small, petite and fragile,” she said, asked whether societal messaging about how women should “look” plays a role in us possibly wanting a romantic partner who is larger in height.
“All of that stems from women historically being considered the weaker sex, right? It’s hard to extricate yourself from that kind of ingrained sexism, and I don’t think anyone should feel pressured to date anyone they don’t feel attracted to.”
The oft-wheeled out accusation by some that it’s “sexist” of women not to date men who are shorter than them is “pretty controlling” and can “tip into the incel movement, which is incredibly toxic”.
That said, Mason added a “good idea” is to “critically think about why you believe you need a male partner who is taller than you”.
Pitcher echoed a similar sentiment in her piece, writing that while “it’s clear posting about ‘short king spring’ won’t magically reverse centuries of height discrimination and social conditioning … it does open up the conversation for couples who don’t fit the previous mould”.
“It’s more about taking a hard look at who you close yourself off to, and why – kind of like doing a stocktake of your ‘must haves’ when it comes to dating, and just making sure you really do need those prerequisites in another person,” Mason advised.
“You could be closing yourself off to some really amazing romantic connections just because you’ve never analysed why you have superficial standards in place.”
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