Thirst traps on Instagram is the new dating app
Podcaster Jana Hocking is sick of conventional dating apps and has moved on to something new – and it’s a lot more effective.
I have a serious case of dating app fatigue. The constant swiping, seeing the same old faces and then endless ‘cut and paste’ answers to small talk has got me feeling a fairly ‘meh’ about the whole thing.
I shamelessly admit that when I match with the same people I matched with a year ago, I question why they haven’t been snapped up by now, before realising that I, too, am in the same boat.
So when my Kinda Sorta Dating podcast guest this week, Gary King, from Hayu’s reality TV show Below Deck made a bold statement that Instagram was the best kinda dating app, well, I leaned in!
You see, the last two guys I’ve been dating have come from Instagram. The first guy, was someone I had been following on the app for a while. He’s someone I admire and I really like his content.
One day I put up a quote from Ricky Gervais that I found inspiring. (Yes I am one of those people who shares inspiring quotes. I know, cringe.) It obviously resonated with him, and he slid into my DMs to tell me about the time he worked with Ricky.
From there, our conversation flowed naturally and I discovered that through the power of Insta DMs we had formed quite a nice friendship. It wasn’t until a break between lockdowns that we actually got to meet up in real life and it turned into something slightly more romantical.
The second guy was someone I met at a party. I felt a spark, but wasn’t sure whether he felt it too. It wasn’t until I got home later that night that I noticed he started following me on Instagram. I promptly followed back, and by morning he had slid into my DM’s to say ‘Hey, it was great meeting you tonight.’ Boom, we were on!
I pondered why I found this such a more enjoyable experience to get to know someone, rather then the dating apps and it occurred to me that there are a number of reasons.
1. You get far more pictures to look at, and they usually show more of their personality. They include family, friends, their go-to food of choice for combating a hearty hangover, activities they are passionate about, what they do for work, and if they are an oversharer (like me) they will give you a real glimpse into their life. A portfolio of themselves, shall we say.
2. You can chat without the initial pressure of a date. A friendly DM hello can simply mean that. There’s no forced speediness to get to know each other. You can go at your own pace.
3. Sharing a funny meme can create a bond, and you get to know whether their humour is dark, cute or something in between. Let’s be honest the only real thing you should probably have in common is your sense of humour.
Should you slide into their DMs and not get a response that is super keen, you can pass it off as just being friendly. No pride hurt here.
As of September, Instagram had over 800 million users, so the world really is your oyster!
So if Instagram really is the new favoured, disguised dating app, then how the heck do you get someone’s attention without it coming off as creepy or desperate?
Well, I asked around and discovered some great tips and tricks from my fellow DM sliders. Here are some that I’ve tried out with much success …
1. Subtly express your interest through likes and comments. Let’s not lie, when we put a thirst-trap photo up, all we are really looking for is a like from our crush, or some random cutie. So be that liker!
2. The almighty thirst trap. For those of you who haven’t heard of a thirst trap before, it is defined as a sexy photograph posted on social media for the intent of causing others to publicly profess their attraction. So find your lighting, pop on that sexy frock and get snapping.
3. KISS – Keep. It. Simple. Stupid. Gone are the days of a cheesy pick up line. Instead, send them a simple message saying ‘I really like your content’. Or look for a picture on their profile that could spark up a conversation and slide into their DM’s to ask a question about ‘said’ picture.
So just for one week, perhaps pull back on the swiping and give the scroll a try instead.
Jana Hocking is a podcaster and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking
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