Phubbing: ‘Harmful’ habit ruining your chance at a second date

An innocuous daily habit could be ruining your chance at a second date, new research by Hinge has revealed.

Phubbing may not be part of your everyday vocabulary, but it’s almost certainly part of your everyday life.

A portmanteau of “phone” and “snubbing”, the innocuous habit could be having a real impact – especially on your love life.

While the behaviour may seem “harmless”, Hinge’s Director of Relationship Science, Logan Ury, told news.com.au recent research by the dating app “shows it can ruin a potential connection with your date”.

“In fact, 75 per cent of Hinge daters report they are more hesitant to open up with their date if that person is on their phone during the date,” Ms Ury explained.

“Research shows that people naturally tend to discuss more shallow topics because there’s a fear that, at any moment, the phone will interrupt them.”

Phubbing may not be part of your everyday vocabulary, but it’s almost certainly part of your everyday life. Picture: iStock

In an era where “many of us are addicted to our devices” – according to Telsyte, 95 per cent of Australians own a smartphone – phubbing is hardly a surprising habit.

And, Ms Ury said, if your date does it, it likely isn’t coming from a bad place.

“Reaching for them on a date is more of a sign of nerves or bad habits than anything more malicious,” she said.

“Daters also tell us they reach for their phone when they’re experiencing FOMO (fear of missing out) or have work-related obligations.”

Thoughts of the former, Ms Ury said, “lead to seemingly-harmless glances at our phone that throw off the delicate balance of a first date”.

As for the latter, “some jobs require you to be available beyond a typical 9 to 5 and that’s fine”.

“However, it’s important to let your date know about this in advance so there are no unexpected surprises during the date,” she advised.

“You can also do your best to set expectations with your work that you won’t be available during a certain time period.”

75 per cent of Hinge daters report they are more hesitant to open up with their date if that person is on their phone during the date. Picture: Hinge

As for what to do if your potential love interest whips their phone out? Call them out, Ms Ury said, albeit “playfully”.

“You can even make a competition out of it. For example: ‘I’ve been trying to limit the time I spend on my phone lately, and it’s been a welcome break. Want to see how long we can go without checking ours on this date? The first person to cave buys the next round.’”

Hinge has also partnered with The Foundation for Social Connection to launch the Distraction-Free Dating guide – encouraging daters to put their phone away on dates and focus on their chemistry and interest in someone. The resource is available on the Hinge app and website.

‘If you’re ready to turn more of your first dates into second ones, my advice is to keep your phone out of sight.’ Picture: iStock

“Our research found that 78 per cent of Aussie Hinge users report that they assume that their date isn’t interested in them if they’re on their phone,” Ms Ury said.

“So if you’re ready to turn more of your first dates into second ones, my advice is to keep your phone out of sight.

“Spend the date really getting to know the person in front of you. Ask them deep questions. Listen to their answers and look out for chances to ask thoughtful follow-up questions.

“Those TikToks will still be waiting for you when you get home.”