Men are quicker than women to say ‘I love you’, new study finds

A new study has revealed who is more likely to say those three little words first in a relationship – and how quick they are to do it.

Men are more likely to say “I love you” first in a relationship, a new international study has found.

The research, conducted by a team at Dundee’s Abertay University and published in the SAGE Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, found males typically say those three words for the first time 108 days – just over three months – into a new relationship.

The fairer sex, meanwhile, tend to take a little longer – on average, about 122 days.

Based on a sample of 3109 adults across seven countries – Australia, Brazil, Chile, Colombia, France, Poland and the UK – the study did not take into account somebody saying “I love you, too”.

“Feeling and expressing love is at the core of romantic relationships, but individuals differ in their proclivity to worry about their relationships and/or avoid intimacy,” the study read.

“Saying ‘I love you’ signals a commitment to a future with our romantic partner. Contrary to gender stereotypes, research demonstrates that men are more likely to confess love first.”

Men are more likely to say ‘I love you’ first, a new study has found.

Of those surveyed – 85 per cent of whom are heterosexual – one-fifth admitted to saying it within two months of dating, while 0.5 per cent said they’d confessed it within a week.

From one extreme to the other – 0.4 per cent waited longer than a year, while 8.8 per cent had taken seven months or more in the past.

“No sex differences were observed in the duration before thinking about confessing love or level of happiness at hearing a love confession,” the study added, “revealing a sex difference in speech acts but not the accompanying emotional response to a love confession.”

Women like to hear it said after the couple first has sex, psychologist Stan Tatkin said.

The proclivity of men to speak up about their love first, known as the “male confession bias”, has been reflected in other studies on the habit, including one in the US.

One theory as to why this happens, the Abertay University study said, is it’s harder and less common for women to leave their children than men.

“Women could avoid the greater costs of a potential poor mate choice by setting a relatively higher threshold than men do in displaying commitment or investment, all else equal,” it read.

In other words, men need to work a bit harder to prove their commitment.

Talking about male confession bias to Time, psychologist and author of We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection and Enduring Love, Stan Tatkin, said women are more circumspect, and prefer to hear it said after the couple first has sex.

“[This] more reflects women’s natural and smart response to be more cautious in committing to a specific man until really having size him up,” he explained.

“Women can still lose a lot more than men in making a bad choice.”