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29yo expat reveals ‘brutal’ act on first date

A woman has revealed why she’s been left shocked by Australia’s “brutal” dating culture and the common act she can’t get over.

Dating Advice: Red flags to look out for on a first date

A French expat pushed to the brink by Australia’s “low-effort” dating culture has unleashed at the nation’s men after suffering through boring dates, and even being stood up.

Chloe Vick, 29, moved to Brisbane two years ago, she figured it would be full of charming Hemsworth types.

Instead, she was treated to one-sided conversations on dating apps.

“Men are a lot more low effort than what I was used to in Europe. Even when they say they are looking for a relationship and not just a one-night stand, the conversations felt, more often than not, one-sided,” she told news.com.au.

Chloe Vick is from France and finds Aussie dating difficult. Picture: Instagram/ChloeVick
Chloe Vick is from France and finds Aussie dating difficult. Picture: Instagram/ChloeVick
She said Aussie men are into ‘low effort’ dating. Picture: Instagram/ChloeVick
She said Aussie men are into ‘low effort’ dating. Picture: Instagram/ChloeVick

Ms Vick said the zero effort some Aussie men put in on dates that they’ve bothered to attend was confusing.

Sometimes, she would think maybe she had experienced a great first date, only to realise afterwards that she was the only one making an effort.

“More often than not, I would realise that I was the one putting in all the effort with none in return. Doesn’t it take two to tango?” she asked.

Plus, there’s the fact that some Aussie men don’t bother to show up at all.

“Being stood up is normal here. Men will often go from hot to cold and bail with no explanation whatever,” she said.

29yo reveals reality of Aussie dating

It often leaves her feeling like she did something wrong and like her time has been completely wasted. She recently had a “brutal” experience of waiting around for a man who never showed up.

Ms Vick had taken a break from dating after losing her beloved dad and recently decided to try again, but she was left standing out in the freezing cold.

“When I was stood outside that bar alone with the realisation that I was being stood up by this man, I felt extremely disheartened,” she said.

“The fact that I had mustered up my courage and hope for my dating life and future, and then this happened felt like a slap in the face.”

She revealed how hard it is on TikTok. Picture: Instagram/ChloeVick
She revealed how hard it is on TikTok. Picture: Instagram/ChloeVick
She explained that being stood up was ‘brutal’. Picture: Instagram/ChloeVick
She explained that being stood up was ‘brutal’. Picture: Instagram/ChloeVick

Being rejected, even if you haven’t met the person, hurts, and Ms Vick decided to post about it online and was disheartened to hear that it wasn’t uncommon in Australia.

“The comments started pouring in from women who were dating in Australia and had experienced a similar thing, which made me feel incredibly sad that this is how dating looks to most of us now,” she said.

“I also received some comments from people sharing horror stories such as an alleged Facebook group where men who stand women up on purpose will take a picture of the woman being stood up and share it in the group as some embarrassment trick.”

Her TikTok did resonate.

“Yes, it’s normal. I’m the hottest I’ve ever been and have tapped out of dating,” one wrote.

“Sydney and Melbourne are pretty bad,” another comment said.

“Yep, it’s an Australian thing,” one confirmed.

She’s not ready to give up on dating yet. Picture: Instagram/ChloeVick
She’s not ready to give up on dating yet. Picture: Instagram/ChloeVick

The way people date in Australia has “dampened” her confidence and it is hard to rebound and put herself out there again.

“I also feel like it’s turned me into a harder person as I feel like this will happen with every person I try to date, which I know is absurd,” she said.

Ms Vick said that the fact she is plus-size also makes dating in Australia hard because locals are less open to different body types.

“Dating for women in this day and age is hard and scary, but being a plus size woman also has its added struggles. I have found that I match with a lot less men on dating apps here than I did back in Europe,” she explained.

“Are Europeans possibly more open to dating diverse ethnicities and body types than Australians? That thought makes me really sad.”

Even though her dating life certainly hasn’t been a success in Australia, she’s decided not to quit.

“Despite the pain, fear, anxiety and sadness dating and men have cause me, I’m not quite ready to give up yet,” she said.

Original URL: https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/dating/29yo-expat-reveals-brutal-act-on-first-date/news-story/4b32d81155a686c46142c52bba2639eb