‘Not safe when we’re dead’: Teen’s brutal murder exposes bleak truth

The rape and murder of a schoolgirl – and subsequent treatment of her corpse – has exposed a grim reality which everyone must face.

The sexual assault and murder of a schoolgirl at the hands of her brother, and the “inappropriate touching” of her dead body by another man, has exposed why women say they would “pick the bear” every time.

As Australia reckons with a gendered violence “epidemic” that’s seen the alleged murder of one woman every four days this year, the hypothetical of whether you’d rather be stuck alone in the woods with a man or a bear is one that’s dominated female conversations; and shocked many men.

“The reactions show some men don’t understand women’s experiences,” Dr Lisa Sugiura, an expert on cybercrime and gender at the University of Portsmouth, wrote in The Conversation last month of the now TikTok-famous trend.

“The assertion that women would prefer to encounter a bear is based on evidence about the rate of male violence against women, and on a lifetime of learning to fear and anticipate this violence.

“This is especially true of sexual violence, something which would not be associated with encountering a bear.”

In a viral video, Australian user @thefadedginger said the senseless killing of teenager Scottish schoolgirl Amber Gibson not only proved why she’d pick the bear, but that women are “not (even) safe when we’re f**king dead”.

The 16-year-old was raped and then strangled in a park in the Scottish town of Hamilton by her brother Connor Gibson in 2021.

The 21-year-old, whose actions were described as “truly evil”, was sentenced to life in prison last September.

Amber Gibson, 16, was raped and murdered by her brother on November 26, 2021. Picture: Facebook

A 13 day trial at the High Court in Glasgow heard how Gibson, who denied the charges against him, met with Amber in their town centre on the night of November 26.

Amber, who was living in a foster home at the time of her murder, had been excited to see her brother, the court was told, so much so that she posted a selfie of them together.

The pair were seen on CCTV at about 10pm near Cadzow Glen. About 90 minutes later, Gibson was seen again on the camera, this time alone.

Different footage later showed him disposing of what police later discovered to be his bloodstained shorts and T-shirt in the wheelie bins outside the homeless unit where he was staying.

“What I always gleaned from being told that ‘it was cruel that I was an only child and didn’t have siblings’ was that an older brother would always protect you, right?” @thefadedginger said in her clip, which has been watched upwards of 365,000 times.

“So... look at that face. You wouldn’t trust your little sister with that one (Connor) would you?”

Connor Gibson will serve at least 22 years behind bars before he can apply for parole. Picture: Police Scotland

It also emerged that, just months before her murder, Amber was raped by a different man, Jamie Starrs, who is currently serving a 10 year prison sentence.

Making matters even “worse”, the TikToker said, was the discovery of Amber’s body by 45-year-old man, Stephen Corrigan, who was known to neither her nor Gibson.

Instead of alerting emergency services, Corrigan was found guilty of “inappropriately” touching her corpse and then concealing her remains. He was jailed for nine years.

“He left his DNA all over her thighs, all over her breasts, all over her body. What do you think he was doing?” she said.

“We’re not safe with our families, we’re not safe with strangers, we’re not safe when we’re f**king dead. And you wonder why we pick the bear. Class dismissed.”

Connor and Amber Gibson on the night of her murder. Picture: Crown Office

Among the 1260 comments on the video, there was one overruling sentiment: “This is why I choose the bear. Every single time.”

“Yup !!!! The bear! It’s always gonna be the bear!!!” one woman said.

“I chose (the) bear! Hell, I’d rather be raised in the woods with bears,” another agreed.

“The bear. The bear every time,” a third wrote.

It’s crucial to note, as Dr Sugiura did in The Conversation, that the question of bear or man is “not about generalising or fearing all men”.

“Women know that not all men are dangerous,” she said.

“But women don’t know which men they should fear, only that male violence and male entitlement to women’s bodies is something that they have to be on guard for,” she wrote.

Connor’s actions were described by a judge as ‘truly evil’. Picture: Crown Office

One in three women worldwide, some one billion people, will experience sexual or physical violence by an intimate partner or sexual violence from a non-partner in her lifetime.

In Australia, it is more likely for a woman over the age of 15 to be raped than it is for her to smoke.

On the other hand, there have been just 664 bear attacks globally in the past decade-and-a-half.

“There are enough men who have hurt or are capable of hurting women, and women have no way of knowing which ones these are,” Dr Sugiura wrote.

“While much violence against women comes from men they know, the risk of danger from men they don’t know is something that informs their day-to-day lives.”

At the end of the day, “this conversation is about privilege, and not recognising it”.

“Many men are able to move through their daily lives not being worried that they are going to be attacked or raped, can walk alone at night without taking any safety precautions or even not having such thoughts cross their minds, and do not feel their hearts beat faster if they hear footsteps behind them,” Dr Sugiura concluded.

“It may not be all men, but it is all women, who live smaller lives because of the threat of some men’s violence.”