‘Needs to be talked about’: Important video all men need to see

The hosts of one of Australia’s most popular podcasts have called out men, challenging them to ask one simple question of themselves.

It’s the topic most men have “never” discussed with their mates – and one that, in the past fortnight, has all but dominated the conversations women are having with their friends.

As of Wednesday morning, 26 Australian women have died, allegedly at the hands of a male perpetrator, in the 16 weeks since January 1. Eleven of those alleged murders have occurred in the last 24 days alone.

The relentlessness of our nation’s scourge of violence against women has prompted pleas for urgent action, not just at a government level, but from the half of the population who are overwhelmingly the perpetrators of it.

It is a sentiment echoed by Hugh van Cuylenburg, Josh van Cuylenburg and Ryan Shelton in a recent episode of their podcast, The Imperfects.

The conversation between the three men was spurred, Hugh explained, by one he’d had with his wife, Penny Moodie, in the wake of the Westfield Bondi Junction attack on April 13.

Penny had asked him why they’d never talked about how “terrifying” it can feel to be a woman in Australia right now – and wondered if it was something he’d ever spoken about to his male friends.

“I never have talked to my male friends about this topic – of the f**king horrific stuff that is happening around Australia, and has done for a while,” he admitted.

“My first thought was, well, (men) don’t talk about heavy stuff, but that’s not entirely true. We do have the capacity to talk about heavy stuff – when the issue concerns us.

“I think it’s just the fact that it’s so wrapped up in privilege, the privilege of it not (being) top-of-mind because we don’t have to worry about it every single day – perhaps that’s why it doesn’t come up.

“But the other reason might be just that men are thinking, ‘Well, I wouldn’t do that. I definitely don’t do that, it doesn’t concern me, so this is not really an issue for me and my male friends – we’re not part of the problem’.”

The Imperfect's co-host Hugh van Cuylenburg. Picture: Instagram

The Imperfect's co-host Ryan Shelton. Picture: Instagram

As Ryan pointed out, however, “women are constantly thinking about this”.

“They are constantly thinking about being safe or not safe, if it’s not a safe world. It doesn’t feel like it (for them). But for us three men, it does often feel very safe, and we have no reason to think otherwise,” he said.

Hugh agreed. “It’s hard to begin to imagine what that feels like. But like, half of the population are feeling that right now. And then I think it’s on the other half to really step up and do what they can to make them feel less alone and less scared at a time like this.”

The Imperfect's co-host Josh van Cuylenburg. Picture: Instagram

‘It’s hard to begin to imagine what that feels like.’ Picture: Instagram

Ryan then urged the podcast’s male listeners to take a moment and ask themselves: How would you feel “if there were thousands of crazed men out there who are targeting men?”

“And so, like, no man is safe. There’s this absolute situation going on that out in the streets of Australia, all around Australia, men are being targeted, being beaten, killed, raped,” he said.

“Imagine that is a thing that’s happening. Then you kind of start to imagine (what that would be like). I’m walking out here after this, and I’m definitely worried. I’m worried. I’m looking around going like, OK, well, you’re always making sure, ‘OK, which path is safest for me?’

“You’re looking at all the men around you going, like, ‘OK, could they be – are they dangerous? Am I safe here? Is this street OK? Are there enough people here?’

“To constantly be thinking about (that) … that is the experience for women.”

Josh added: “It’s pretty black and white … Women are being murdered at a horrific rate.”

“It’s disgusting stuff, and it needs to be talked about more,” he said.

“By men,” Hugh chimed in. “There’s only so much that women can do in this conversation, and they have done everything they can.”

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has called on men to do more. Picture: NCA NewsWire/Martin Ollman

The episode reflects remarks made by a number of officials in the past week, including Prime Minister Anthony Albanese.

After the body of 28-year-old Molly Ticehurst was found at her home in the NSW Central West on Monday morning, Mr Albanese once again called on “men and boys” to take a stand.

“We all have a responsibility to do what we can to address what is a scourge of violence against women,” he told the ABC, vowing the Federal Government will take “every measure” possible.

“Men and boys have to clearly have discussions about these issues. There’s a need to show respect to women.”

The nation’s chief lawmaker made a similar call-to-arms in an address at a family violence symposium in Melbourne on Friday.

“To create lasting change, women cannot be expected to solve violence against women alone. It’s time for men to step up,” Attorney-General Mark Dreyfus said in his speech.

“It’s our responsibility to educate ourselves, our sons, our colleagues and our friends. We must focus on prevention, working together and finding new ways of doing things.”