Doctor warns against surprisingly stupid Christmas sex trend

A doctor in the UK has raised eyebrows across social media by warning people of the dangers of masturbating with Christmas ornaments.

A doctor in the UK has raised eyebrows across social media by warning people of the dangers of masturbating with ornaments come Christmas – which is apparently an actual trend.

“It is not advisable to masturbate with Christmas ornaments,” gynaecologist Dr Sarah Walsh told NeedToKnow. Online, the New York Post reports.

She was listing the do’s and don’ts of the scandalous Yuletide tradition, which sees people hospitalised after getting frisky with everything from glass baubles to candy canes.

Indeed, trying to make Christmas come early with ornaments is apparently hazardous to one’s health.

“Christmas ornaments can have sharp aspects or pieces that can break during masturbation, which can cause soreness, the risk of trauma and are just generally unsuitable for your vagina,” warned Dr Walsh, who co-founded the condom brand Hanx.

In other words, leave your elf on the shelf come Christmastime.

Want to stream your news? Flash lets you stream 25+ news channels in 1 place. New to Flash? Try 1 month free. Offer available for a limited time only >

An X-ray of a candy can lodged up one patient’s nether regions. Picture: Jam Press

Even Christmas confections pose a threat “due to the hygiene issues, concern about pieces breaking off, or the sugar content of items such as candy canes”, Dr Walsh said.

“Anything with sugar in it, such as Christmas confectionary, should also stay well away from the vagina as this disrupts the delicate ecosystem of the vaginal microbiome and can predispose you to vaginal thrush infections.”

Refraining from pleasuring oneself with ornaments or festive treats might seem like a no-brainer – but the unfortunate phenomenon is more common than one would think.

One case study from 2013 mentioned people inserting glass baubles and even turkey basters in themselves.

An X-ray of a glass bauble that someone inserted into their body. Picture: Jam Press

Meanwhile, a social media post in a paramedic Facebook group described instances of people improvising with a candy cane and a tree decoration, along with photos showing the graphic X-rays from each.

“These X-rays show a candy cane and a Christmas tree ball ornament stuck in rectums,” read the caption.

“Ya know, for the holidays.”

According to data from the UK’s National Electronic Injury Surveillance System, there were 13,213 cases in which people ages 25 to 64 inserted “decorating items” in their bodies in 2021 alone, Jam Press reported.

Gynaecologist Dr Sarah Welsh warned that inserting candy canes and other confectionary can lead to infection. Picture: Jam Press

‘There are many suitable, and certified, sex toys on the market available that will do a much better job.’ Picture: Jam Press

Experts attributed the use of these festive foreign objects to “autoerotism”, which Merriam-Webster defines as the “sexual gratification obtained solely through stimulation by oneself of one’s own body”.

It’s not just Yuletide baubles that have been found in peculiar orifices. Last fall, one man from Michigan got six kidney beans lodged in his urethra during an attempt at sexual gratification – known in the medical community as “sounding”.

While in September, a 27-year-old man in India had to be hospitalised after allegedly shoving a deodorant canister up his rectum, where it remained for three weeks before being removed by doctors.

Dr Welsh summed up her thoughts on the practice like this: “There are many suitable, and certified, sex toys on the market available that will do a much better job.”

This article originally appeared on the New York Post and was reproduced with permission