Dr Zac Turner on providing support for your transgender child

A Sydney parent has pinpointed the one question that many parents are facing and they have no clue where to begin.

Welcome to Ask Doctor Zac, a weekly column from news.com.au. This week Dr Zac Turner advises on providing support for a transgender child.

Question: Hi Dr Zac, I am writing to you about something quite sensitive and difficult to grasp. My child has come to me with questions about their gender, asking things like why they can’t change to the other sex. It’s causing concern because the questions are becoming more regular.

I just want them to be happy, no matter what. The current discrimination occurring and some of the media is making me nervous for my child. I don’t want them to experience discrimination.

My problem is that I don’t have the slightest clue where to begin. I’m not sure what level of sincerity I should take in answering their questions – do I wait for them to grow out of it or do I take them to a psychologist?

What is the medical process to transition genders in Australia? – Anon, Sydney

Mother consoling her teenage daughter.

Answer: Thank you for your question, I appreciate that you have come for help rather than completely ignoring your child’s curiosity. We have come a long way in how we treat our LGBTQI+ community, however, without positive contributions to the narrative like this, we will not be able to reach where we are meant to be.

The birds and the bees talk with our children has certainly evolved drastically in the 21st century. What was once a discussion about sexual organs, hormones and armpit hair has now transformed into a complex conversation about sexual orientation, gender and how to respect who we are intimate with.

What does it mean for a child to question their gender?

Well, it’s called gender questioning, and it’s when a child begins to feel uncomfortable in their own body. They have the feeling their body is growing in a way that doesn’t match their attitudes and beliefs. An example would be a young transgender boy who is uncomfortable with their breasts beginning to form.

My first recommendation is you attempt to open a clear and honest communication channel with your child. Allow them to not be fearful of asking any question in the world to you, no matter the topic. And you should answer them sincerely.

Next time they ask, “Why can’t I be the other gender?” you should carefully direct a line of questioning. Ask them why they feel that way, what makes them want to be the other gender and if it makes them sad they can’t change gender.

Children may have some serious questions about their gender and what it means. Picture: iStock

You can also try to open the discussion yourself. If you see a transgender person on the telly or in the newspaper, say things like, “They are so brave, their parents must be proud. You know I would never judge you if you or your siblings came out, I hope you would come to me first.”

If your child wishes to express themselves by wearing clothes typical of the opposite gender, allow them. They may try it for a day and not like it, or they may come out of their shell and embrace it. The idea is that you are allowing them to feel comfortable to wear their feelings on their sleeves.

The reason why I place a big emphasis on allowing your child to express themselves freely without judgment is because of the recent statistics coming out on the transgender community. Studies from the University of Melbourne have shown nearly half of the transgender community has attempted suicide, 63 per cent have reported self-harm, 79 per cent have experienced anxiety and 85 per cent have experienced depression.

The current discrimination occurring in Australia is causing serious damage; we need to step up and stamp it out.

Children need to be able to express themselves freely to help stop mental health issues. Picture: iStock

If the conversations turn more serious, I recommend you involve a psychologist or counsellor. They will be able to make their recommendations of where to go next, and how to do it.

There is evidence in studies that the mental health of a transgender person improves significantly when they are able to access gender-affirming hormones. If your child is younger than 18, you will need to provide your consent for the therapy to begin.

In Australia, a GP can ideally provide care to their trans patients. This care would typically be gender-affirming hormones. If a female-presenting but male-identifying patient came to their doctor asking for treatment, they would be prescribed testosterone-based therapy.

A tailored prescription plan is made, and it starts with low doses and is gradually increased. The goal is for the therapy to align physical appearance with gender identity.

It all seems quite complex and difficult, but I assure you it can be quite simple. All it takes is asking simple questions like yours. I applaud you for putting yourself out there to find out for the sake of your child.

Got a question? Email [e-mail]

Dr Zac Turner has a Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery from the University of Sydney. He is both a medical practitioner and a co-owner of telehealth service, Concierge Doctors. He was also a registered nurse and is also a qualified and experienced biomedical scientist along with being a PhD Candidate in Biomedical Engineering.