‘I’m not a bad parent’: Why mum never buys her kids Xmas gifts

A Sydney mum has been labelled “abusive” and a “bad parent” because she has never bought her children Christmas presents.

A mum has opened up about why she has never bought her kids Christmas presents.

Sydney mother-of-two Cheryln Sue says she has often faced backlash from people in her life who do not agree with how she chooses to celebrate the festive season.

The 39-year-old’s two children Jonathan, four, and Emma, two, have never received a Christmas gift from her or their dad Jared, 41.

Instead of putting presents under the tree, the parents let their kids choose a fun activity that they’d like do in the New Year, where they spend the day together one-on-one.

But the family’s decision to have a gift-free Christmas sparked some backlash from people who thought it was “bad parenting” - with some even going so far as to call her “abusive”.

“Christmas is not really a huge deal for us, as we have no other family here,” Cheryln, originally from Brisbane, told news.com.au.

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This year the family is going on a road trip over Christmas - but with no gifts. Picture: Supplied

“We usually like to get away from Sydney if we can, and go on a road trip, which is what we’re doing this year.

“The kids don’t get presents for Christmas, but they’re not deprived. They’ve had so many amazing experiences and memories made.

“People get really funny about the kids not opening any gifts on Christmas morning. There is so much judgment, someone said ‘this is abuse’. I was like wow, okay.

“I’m not saying we lock them in a room for Christmas and don’t see them until New Years, we just celebrate it in our own way.

“I understand for some people, that is their love language. Giving and opening gifts is important, and that’s totally fine.

“Everyone should be able to celebrate Christmas however they want to, without fearing what others will say.”

Cheryln explained that her family’s decision to celebrate the festive season gift-free began after she saw the affect too many presents sometimes had on children.

From her experience, she said kids with a lot of “stuff” can sometimes adapt negative behaviours, such as throwing tantrums or using bad manners.

“Children can get so spoiled, so quickly,” she said.

The mum says their no-present rule is what works best for them. Picture: Supplied

The mum's two children don't receive Christmas presents. Picture: Supplied

“They expect more and more, and have Santa wish lists that are so long and unattainable. And when they don’t get it, they are upset.

“It’s not okay and I really never wanted my kids to grow up thinking that their ‘stuff’ was the more important thing in their lives.”

The couple first tried their no-gift technique on family, and after it went well, decided to adapt it into their everyday lives and for their future kids.

“Before we had kids, there was one Christmas were we told our niece and nephew that they could choose to have a gift or an experience,” she said.

“We will plan a day, and we will do heaps of fun stuff, it will just be you and us. It will be a day all about you.

“It was interesting, because these kids had never had that option given to them. My nephew asked for a gift, and my niece wanted an experience.

“Her day consisted of rock climbing, seeing a movie and going to a lantern festival, a bit after Christmas.

The family celebrate the festive season in their own way. Picture: Supplied

“She is 18 now, and she still remembers that day. If it was a random gift, she wouldn’t still have those memories.”

This idea sparked a change in Cheryln, and how her family celebrates big events such as Christmas and birthdays.

“When we had kids, we very quickly learnt that things pile up,” she laughed.

“I also noticed they sometimes were not even interested in their toys. So we now just rotate their toys every few months, and they get excited again.

“It’s not like they don’t have toys, we just don’t see the point of giving them so much stuff they become really overwhelmed.

“We’re not against toys or gifts at all, but I think it’s important to have a rhyme and reason for them.

“For example, my son is turning five next month, and that will be on occasion that he will get gifts because we have lots of family coming.

“He won’t get gifts from us, because we’re throwing him a big party and he understands that.”

The kids also make a donation to a food bank each Christmas. Picture: Supplied

The mum added that a huge misconception is that she “hates” Christmas, which is not the case at all.

The family have embraced their own traditions for the holidays and Cheryln said being together is the most important thing.

“Considering how busy we are these days, family togetherness is so important,” she explained.

“There is so much pressure about giving and getting the perfect gift for Christmas day, and to make it the most important day of the year.

“I think it’s great to celebrate the entire season and not just the day. We’ve done lots of festive things such as watching Christmas movies and getting Santa photos.

“Our children also do a food donation to the Salvos each year, which is really important to us as they pick the food that they want to donate and take it to the charity store themselves. This has become an important part of our tradition.

“Christmas is so much more than just gifts.”