The great baby piercing debate

SOME say it’s cruel, some say it’s tacky, but others argue they pierce their baby’s ears for cultural reasons. So should we ban it?

Supplied Editorial

A PETITION out of the UK calling for the banning of ear piercing for babies and toddlers has gathered over 30,000 signatures and got some people very cross.

It’s one of those divisive issues, not just because we all parent as differently as we do our hair, but because for so many mothers, our experience of ear piercing is deeply personal, rooted in family history, childhood memories and the moment we made the cool group at school.

The petition, launched by one woman who probably has an 8 year old who just won’t stop pestering her, asserts that piercing a baby’s ears is a form of child cruelty, inflicting severe pain and fear upon infants, serving no purpose other than to satisfy the parent’s vanity.

Child cruelty sounds like an extreme term, but I remember when I was about 10, I was in Myer, being force clothed into a pair of hideous brown corduroys, when a tiny little girl — I guess about 2 — let out a blood curdling scream in front of me. She was being held down by her mother and nonna, despite her utter hysteria, while a terse old lady in a Myer badge and severe pink lipstick pierced her ears.

At the time, it was not dissimilar to the way I was reacting to the brown cords, so I felt a kindred spirit in her, but now, looking back, I’m horrified that even happened. I’m not a perfect mother, but I reckon if my kid was screaming like I was skinning her alive, I’d probably stop doing whatever it was I was doing.

Counter to that though, I learn from that hub of rational argument, Facebook, that it’s a cultural thing. The arguments went like this:

“My wife and her sisters had their pierced before they could walk. Hungarian culture, so their Hungarian mother insisted. I think it’s a fine idea and we will do the same for our kid to maintain the tradition”

Which garnered this response:

“Female genital mutilation is also cultural.”

And then this:

“FGM is hardly comparable with ear piercing. Stop being hysterical.”

And the heated discussion continued:

“Piercing a young babies ears is tacky. Why inflict that pain. Your child is not a fashion accessory.”

“Both my daughters’ ears were done at 12m old! And u know what, I am there mother (sic), not u, so how about u f$ & k off and let me parent my kids my way!!”

And my fave comment:

“Apparently it gives them autism.”

So what are the facts?

There are definitely many cultures in the world where ear piercing at a very young age, sometimes before leaving the hospital, is standard. From Africa to Europe to Asia to South America to the Kardashians and back, it’s just the done thing.

For Hindu culture, the infant ear piercing ritual is a part of the socialisation process and culture emersion. It demonstrates to bubba that she, like her sisters, cousins, mummy, aunts and grandmothers, belongs to the one tribe. I love that. I’m a pasty pale WASP so all I have for such a symbol is our unifying fear of sunburn.

In Australia, there is no legal minimum age for ear piercing if you have parent permission, although many practitioners will impose their own, which is usually 6 months. In Queensland, the legislation makes the point that if you are pierced without your agreement, it may amount to an assault, begging the question how does a baby give her consent?

Fundamentally, I believe it’s not up to me to tell my kid who she is or should be. She can decide that as she learns about herself (except for the fact that she’s been a Collingwood member since birth, which arguably is the most heinous of abuse possible).

But if she isn’t able to understand why she’s making a decision, then it isn’t happening under my watch. And at 6, despite being certain she wants pierced ears, she is a long way off understanding the experience of ear piercing. That it hurts. That at some point in her life she will have a festering throbbing mess on the side of her head. That if she wears too many heavy drop earrings, by the time she’s 60 she’ll have earlobes she can tie under her chin. That because Ruby has done it, isn’t a reason to do it. And that any modification, no matter how small, is such an unnecessary adornment to her already perfect body.

Once she’s grasped all of that, I don’t care if she becomes a human meat hook.