I confronted a remote worker who rolled his eyes at my toddler in a cafe

"People out in public don’t need to tiptoe around you because you want a change of scenery during the work day while you sit in meetings."

A woman has taken to a popular parenting forum to ask whether or not she was being unreasonable for confronting a man at a cafe who was rude to her while she was with her toddler. 

After he became annoyed at them while on a Teams call, the poster took to Mumsnet to explain how she brutally shut him down. 

Most mums comforted the frustrated woman, telling her that if he wanted silence he could "lock himself in his bathroom at home."

But others took a more reasonable approach and said he had a right to be there as much as she did. 

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The woman says she usually isn't confrontational. Image: IStock

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He was sighing and rolling his eyes for 10 minutes

She began the thread, which now has over 320 replies, by saying, "I’m probably being unreasonable for posting here in the first place since there’s a bit of an anti-kids in public sentiment here at times, but when did it become acceptable for people to think a coffee shop is the same as an office?"

The mum explained how she was recently out for breakfast with her toddler and a man was taking a Teams call at a nearby table.

"If it’s relevant we were seated first," she adds. 

The poster also says that she thought her toddler was being "as good as gold, in my opinion." And while she recognises that sometimes toddlers can be "too loud or badly behaved" in public, that wasn't the case here.

"My toddler was having a little babble and sing, occasionally pointing out things they had seen, like 'Cup! Cup!'"

"It was not a disturbance, and no louder than any other table of two chatting," according to the woman. 

Then she started to notice the man's attitude get increasingly annoyed. "He was sighing and rolling his eyes for about ten minutes."

And despite admitting that she isn't usually a confrontational person, she felt compelled to put him in his place. 

"I just had to turn to him and say 'Sorry but this is actually a cafe, not an office, so if you’re in a meeting and need silence you’re in the wrong place'." 

Apparently, he huffed and puffed and packed up his things and went to go find a new table. 

Awkwardly for him though, there were none available so he had to come back to his original one.

He then sat there for the rest of his call giving her "evil eyes."

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"I'm sick of people using cafes as personal workplaces"

She asked the community, "AIBU to think I’m not in the wrong here?

"A public cafe at breakfast time isn’t exactly the place to do a work meeting! If people want to rave about working from home then go f**king work at home. People out in public don’t need to tiptoe around you because you want a change of scenery during the work day while you sit in meetings."

A fellow mum defended her by saying, "It's a public space and it's meant to be child-friendly. Why shouldn't you take your child to a cafe?"

"If you want silence, a cafe isn't the place for it," another agreed. "If they want somewhere outside of their home they can go to a co-working space."

"I'm sick of people trying to take over cafes as their personal workplaces," someone else said. 

A couple of other users pointed out that she should have been more respectful to the remote worker, as "the nature of work is changing."

One member explained: "It's all very easy to tell him to 'go to the office' but he might not have an office.

"He might be travelling for work. He might be between site meetings, etc.

"Like it or not, the world is changing and work is no longer confined to 'the office'.

"Public spaces are for the public — this includes people with kids, but it includes people who are working too.

"The answer is to all try to get along together as best you can."

Another commenter believed that the poster wasn't justified in getting angry at the man. 

"There was absolutely no need for you to say anything.

"Someone 'rolling their eyes' is not a reason to be rude. And I think you were rude when you spoke up instead of going about your perfectly reasonable business with your toddler."

This article was originally published in March 2023 and was updated in August 2023.

Originally published as I confronted a remote worker who rolled his eyes at my toddler in a cafe