Want a hot bod? Get your head straight first, writes Angela Mollard

HAVING a healthy body doesn't necessarily lead you to have a healthy mind. Actually, it's the other way around, writes Angela Mollard. Here's the real way to craft a hot bod.

She mentioned a woman in a yellow bikini, so here's a woman in a yellow...

SHE'S wearing a yellow bikini and standing on some rocks having climbed out of an impossibly blue sea.

Her thighs are lean, her collarbones boast thinness and self-control, and her stomach is taut, the muscles laminated with glistening skin.

When she lies on her towel she knows there'll be a gap where her bikini bottoms sit on her hip bones. Years from now they'll have a name for it - "the bikini bridge" - but it's 1998, when a body is still your own, not currency on social media.

IS THE BIKINI BRIDGE THE NEW THIGH GAP?

If that girl were on a billboard she'd be held up as a picture of good health. She's the envy of her colleagues, the darling of gym instructors, an example of what you can achieve physically if you put your mind to it.

So let me tell you the truth about her, because, as you've guessed, she's me. And the yellow bikini - a questionable shade of banana - is not the only indication that I've completely taken leave of my senses.

The "bikini bridge". It's the latest horrible trend of self-consciousness.

I'm working out twice a day, a legacy of competitive swimming and a test of how far I can push my body, but also a nonsense prompted by an unhealthy friendship with two anorexic blondes.

Every Saturday we go for lunch and they've taught me how to push a salad niçoise around my plate, how to elegantly refuse chips (why??) and that a vodka and soda has 130 fewer calories than a glass of wine.

They manage to take laxatives and wear white jeans (how??) but I'm so hungry I've developed a secret Pringles chips habit, chased down with a tub of ice cream.

They throw up any bingeing, but I prefer some old-fashioned self-loathing. As for the pic on the rocks - I'm not full of the joys of a summer holiday, or the sea life. I've seen through the mask in my hand.

Oh, no, the thoughts dancing dementedly in my malnourished brain are:

1. When can I squeeze in a run?

2. Is that rock the right height for a tricep press?

Even this view can get dull if you run past it every day.

You see, I know about exercise. I've done the hill repeats, the stomach crunches, heard all the platitudes. I've had a variation of The Commando screaming in my ear and I've swum so hard I've dry retched. I've run a half marathon on a strained knee and a handful of Voltaren and I've had glutes that a friend once remarked "could crack walnuts".

Consequently, I can tell you something as certain as Russell Crowe's lack of style and as true as Pink Floyd is boring - a healthy body is no guarantee of a healthy mind.

That's why I'm sceptical of The Biggest Loser, of the plethora of weight loss books published at this time of year, of the ridiculous overuse of "tion" words - motivation, inspiration, dedication.

Because the only way to get a body you like, I've discovered, is to first like yourself. And that's a forever thing - not a six-month stint on some voyeuristic Hunger Games or 12 weeks doing "the Michelle". Sure, Body Inc. will tell you a rocking figure will lead to greater self-esteem, but to me that's like sticking the cone on the top of the ice cream - ice cream, incidentally, that you're not supposed to have.

I know a lot of former Biggest Loser contestants; a few are mates. The ones who keep the weight off and exercise up are those enamoured less with their new body than what it can do. Their Facebook feeds are not brochures for perfect abs but fulfilling activities - kayaking, the Colour Run, paddle boarding.

Adro Sarnelli, who won the first season of The Biggest Loser back in 2006, lost 51.3 kilos on the show. I can't tell you what he weighs now because I don't care. But I love the guy because he regards his body as a ticket to fun. He's tried surfing and soccer, competed in Tough Mudder and last year walked the Kokoda Trail. His sense of wellbeing is as contagious as his recipe for lettuce-wrapped burritos is delicious.

At his weight loss facility, The New Me, he doesn't go in for the word "motivation", because it smacks of being pushed. He prefers words that pull - "passion", "commitment". Likewise, "weight loss" features second to last on his manifesto of change, behind confidence, knowledge, strength and understanding.

Jane Fonda also gets it. The workout queen was here this week launching a new gym revamp but at 76 she knows better than to spout the party line, pointing out that you can exercise anywhere and start at any age.

"You can swim, you can walk, you can bike, you can hike, you can do all sorts of things and I love that I do that myself," she says.

As for the girl in the yellow bikini? She now regards exercise like making the bed - an unspoken non-negotiable that, when completed, makes the day feel better. She doesn't measure anything - kilos, calories, lengths, push-ups, bikini bridges - only the sense of harmony in her head.

And whether she can hold a handstand longer than her kids.

Email: [e-mail]

Twitter: @angelamollard

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