Synchronised swimming: The bling-y diamond in the Olympic crown

SYNCHRONISED swimming is the shiny gift that is delivered to our TV screens every four years. Pop your nose plugs in and get excited.

The synchronised swimming is a glorious treat that comes just once every four years for many of us.

TO ADMIT that you’re “not that into sport” is an unpopular admission in Australia.

As someone who opted for theatre sports over netball all through my youth, I guess I just missed out on that sporting gene.

This admission is especially frowned upon during the Olympics.

But as I’ve discovered you don’t have to have a keen passion for actual sport to find joy in the Olympics. It’s the stuff on the periphery that has really shone for me.

The most emotional I have been thus far is viewing the footage of Kyle Chalmers’ grandparents watching him win gold from their loungeroom in South Australia:

I was also very pleased with this clip of a cat getting involved in a bar routine:

And this tribute to gymnast Simone Biles’ mad skills:

But perhaps the greatest joy comes from the synchronised swimming. Because as a lover of musical theatre, it’s like Baz Luhrmann was invited to invent a sport.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not diminishing the incredible physical skill that it takes. As someone who has executed some pretty sub-par somersaults and handstands in a mate’s pool, I can appreciate the dexterity and core strength that this requires.

But my god. THE DRAMA. It’s a god damn emotional rollercoaster peppered with over the top facial expressions and high-cut leotards.

It can veer from operatic style tension one moment ...

I hate you/I love you.

To light comedy the next!

Surprise! I’m up here.

This is the exact pose I pull when I realise I’ve locked my keys in the house.

As a spectator, it’s a great sport to get involved in as the still images are just as full of joy as the actual video clips ...

If you ever get pushed into a pool at a party, attempt to go in like this ...

... And then flee the party full of regrets, like this.

... Or just play your partner like a cello.

Twitter has had a lot of fun with the footage:

This how ya girl walks in when she catches you in a lie and her best friend help her solve the case. pic.twitter.com/29HmYNQhrO

— X (@XLNB) August 14, 2016

(Please note that this caption also works well with that clip):

me walking into a nail salon with my bestie to get mani pedis even though we didn't make a reservation. pic.twitter.com/cImxCADV4Y

— Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) August 14, 2016

There’s no doubt about it, this sport ripe for memes.

Image: Twitter

It is a sport full of mysteries. How on earth does their makeup stay on? How are they not all bald from tying their hair back that tight? How did this lady get up there?

That’s very impressive.

And most importantly — how is it 2016 and science hasn’t managed to come up with a more subtle nose plug?

Serious nose plug face.

And we haven’t even got to the costumes yet ...

This appears to be some burlesque Sons of Anarchy style tribute. Five stars.

Ed Hardy seems to have got their hands on these dames.

Switzerland's Sophie Giger and Sascia Kraus wear a leotard featuring a flaming electric guitar, because they can.

All of this has whet our appetite to see the Australian synchronised swimming team hit the pool. This year’s theme sounds like a belter. According to the Australian Olympic Committee, “in Rio, the crowd will be treated to a display honouring Australia’s native fauna in one routine, with the athletes keen to showcase one of Australia’s most famous animals, the crocodile”.

Now *that* is worth getting up at 2am on Friday August 19 for.