Why reporters should #AskHerMore on the Brownlows red carpet

IT NEEDS to be said, so Em Rusciano is just going to say it, ’kay? The Brownlow Medal red carpet coverage last night was terrible.

IT NEEDS to be said, so I am just going to say it, ‘kay? The Brownlow Medal red carpet coverage was terrible.

I’m not here to have a crack at people trying to do their job, however something needs to be done about what viewers were subjected to last night.

If you missed it, here is a handy flow chart of pretty much EXACTLY what occurred during the “interviews” on the carpet that was red.

A brilliant flow chart from @instachaaz.

By the way, Fremantle’s Nat Fyfe won the actual award they were giving out. I know right?!

There is a little medal that gets given to the best and fairest footballer that apparently happens after we look at the dresses. Cute!

I am here to stage an intervention — to stop the arranged marriages being forced upon any couple that dared not be married.

To prevent the awkward questions about if/when couples will be reproducing, should they be unlucky enough to actually have been married when that question was inexplicably posed. I mean, NO ONE is having babies out of wedlock anymore guys?! Am I right?!

It must be said that asking anyone when they’re having a baby unless they’re this lady,

is fraught with danger.

Nadia Bartel, the wife of Geelong player Jimmy Bartel, looking like a pregnant vision on the red carpet last night. Picture: David Crosling

Basically, the kid needs to have its head sticking out and be waving to the paps while showing off its 57 carat pink diamond Harry Winston ring, for that to be an acceptable line of inquiry. For the love of GOD, stop the awkwardness! I can’t take it anymore.

Surely we are now in an age where social media has instilled a sense of self awareness into producers and directors when it comes to these type of events. That they can no longer serve up the same tired old format and think we’ll all play along at home.

I get that they wanted to simplify it this year. No mani­-pedi cam, no 360 degree rotisserie chook cam and no “what’s in your clutch” questions.

I get that there may have been some analysis paralysis on Channel Seven’s behalf, so they just went back to basics in the hope of escaping ridicule. But there is a balance to be struck here.

Fact: Asking funny, disarming and well though-out questions will put every one at ease and make for interesting viewing.

Nat Fyfe looking stoked with his Brownlow Medal. Picture: Colleen Petch

You need to acknowledge that the public are ravenous for the red carpet galleries and then maybe touch on corrective underwear and an upcoming work project! Ha ha ha isn’t life a series of contradictions? We’re all human. See you later. Enjoy your night. LIGHT AND SHADE PEOPLE!

They had access to women who have social media empires and arguably more successful careers than their partners — good morning Rebecca Judd! Bec is essentially the Google of homewares and parenting now. She is a hard working mother-of-two who is basically taking over the world. Hey, I’ve got an idea, let’s ask her about that. Not insinuate that she and Chris may not be welcome at the Brownlow after this year because he has retired!

I’m surprised Bec didn’t put her hand up at that point and simply say: BITCH PLEASE! Do you know who we are? We are the Beyonce and Jay Z of AFL! We ARE the Brownlows.

What about Nadia Bartel? Her numbers for her website, Instagram and online shopping hub are astronomical. She has more fans than my next husband and her current one Jimmy Bartel. Did we hear about that? No, no we did not. We had to talk about her tan.

Chris and Rebecca Judd on the Brownlows red carpet. Picture: David Crosling

SHUT UP if you’re even thinking, “But it’s not about them, Em. They are there to support their partners.” Shut up, shut it up and down. That half an hour is ALL about those women and you know it.

Of course I like to look at the frocks, but I have my own pair of eyes for that. Once we know who made it, and even then that’s really only to satisfy the designer who lent the lady her frock, let us move on to greener pastures.

Again, I am attempting to play the ball and not the man here (Boom! Up top for an actual sporting analogy). Mad respect to all that had to work last night.

I know how hard it is to be on the spot. I also appreciate that a lot of the girls would have been anxious and nervous at being photographed at every conceivable angle, so perhaps the conversation wasn’t exactly flowing.

I just feel like, I don’t know ... I feel like we can do better. Let’s do better ok?

OK!

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