The Melbourne Cup exposes a huge foot issue

The Melbourne Cup might be seen as a glamorous event, but there’s a “feral” issue we need to discuss immediately.

COMMENT

The Melbourne Cup is a foot wonderland, and we need to talk about it immediately, like adults.

I’m sorry, but this is more important than whatever song Delta just sang.

There’s been a big emphasis on toots this year because men are allowed to wear shorts, and therefore, they are baring ankles, and Gen Zers have popped on their sneakers to enjoy the races.

While we can excuse seeing a man’s knees, there is something deeply haunting about their fleshy ankles being on full display.

Let’s save it for the third date, please.

We are seeing harrowing images from the Melbourne Cup because men have put on their favourite pairs of loafers and we can’t tell if they are wearing socks.

It’s ankle city at The Melbourne Cup. Picture: Jason Edwards

It simply isn’t clear if they are wearing “sockettes” or are raw dogging it with their hoofs.

Either way, the images are upsetting, unsettling and a little too much for anyone drinking on an empty stomach.

I repeat, it simply isn’t clear if they are wearing socks.

Someone call Tracy Grimshaw. We need her on the field chasing these men down and demanding answers.

We all know Grimshaw would nail the brief herself in sturdy yet chic footwear, so she is the perfect person for the case.

The men have also been trusted with trying to make shorts look chic, and it is clear we’ve put too much faith in them.

Instead, they look like a dad who has been told to make a bit of effort, and he hasn’t quite pulled it off, and now mum’s mad.

Meanwhile, we’ve got the Gen Zers turning up in sneakers and dresses, living their best, comfortable lives.

Then we have the Millennials insisting on wearing heels and, therefore, getting their stompers out before the 3pm race because of sheer discomfort.

It is the foot bonanza.

The short trend has arrived. Picture: David Caird

The young people are embracing sneakers. Picture: Jason Edwards

The Melbourne Cup is meant to be about glamour, champagne and beige chinos, but really, it has become all about the great hoofs war, and no, I’m not talking about the horses.

We’ve got the Gen Zers rolling their eyes at being uncomfortable and reaching for their sneakers over their heels.

We shouldn’t be surprised they weren’t influenced by Kerri-Anne’s effortless style over the years or Sonia Kruger’s enduring glamour.

Their sneaker choice might be on trend, but they’ll find themselves turned away from the members enclosure.

Any form of the following footwear: joggers, sports shoes, track shoes, runners, slippers, dilapidated footwear, gumboots, or thongs is banned.

The dress code is still strict. Picture: Victoria Racing Club

Sneakers won’t get you into the members section. Picture: Jason Edwards

Meanwhile, the Millennials, who, let’s face it, have been far too influenced by Gossip Girl, are sticking firm to their heels.

The problem?

No one can last in them all day, so instead of looking gorgeous and oozing glam, they look like they’re doing a late-night supermarket run, or cosplaying as Michal Clarke in a Noosa Park.

Being shoeless looks less chic and more like a cry for help.

The toes are out. Picture: Asanka Ratnayake/Getty Images

As a nation, we need to come together and have a good talk.

We need to agree on Melbourne Cup footwear people can wear all day that at least gives the illusion that they are wearing socks.

Do you know what that means?

We need to listen to the Gen Zers, and everyone needs to pop on their best sneakers. They are comfortable, dignified and suit everyone.