TikTok Australia Awards 2023: The best looks from the red carpet

Abbie Chatfield has turned heads at a glamorous awards ceremony for Australia’s most popular social media stars in Sydney.

Abbie Chatfield has dazzled onlookers with a daring, plunging red carpet dress at the awards ceremony for Australia’s most popular social media stars in Sydney.

Ms Chatfield, 28, hosted the 2023 TikTok Australia Awards alongside ABC presenter Tony Armstrong and last year’s winner, Kat Clark, at the Hordern Pavilion on Wednesday.

The awards night - which has been described as “Gen Z’s Logies”, and is no less thrilling than that sounds - celebrates the biggest viral trends and most talked about moments on the app from throughout the year.

To your great misfortune, the guy who usually does politics and knows less than nothing about fashion was left to cover the red carpet. Do continue reading to see him fumble around in his ignorance, like a spoodle trying to play Beethoven - amusingly inept, and not necessarily a waste of your time, but ultimately unproductive.

Abbie on the red carpet, displaying the smugness I must imagine all women feel at being, manifestly, much better to look at. Image: Matrix Pictures

Quick summary: a celebrity event happened, and people wore/pointedly didn’t wear clothes. You are here, voyeur that you are, to see the flesh what was flashed. And it is my job to write some words around the images to maintain the pretence that we’re here to discuss fashion as an art form rather than perv on sexy people wearing skimpy, sexy things.

(Too cynical? As I said, I usually do politics. Cynicism is a natural byproduct.)

Let’s start, shall we, with the indisputable star of the evening, Ms Chatfield, who marked her ownership of the red carpet with the aforementioned plunging neckline.

Technically speaking, is it a neckline if it’s nowhere near the neck? If you can imagine Abbie’s torso as the entirety of Ukraine, and her head as Russia, then the space from chin to bust is the Donbas. And you, like Putin, are weirdly salivating over it.

As the skin encroaches a touch too far, Abbie/Volodymyr launches a counteroffensive. Image: Matrix Pictures

The exaggerated point, a treasured staple of all public figures when the cameras are fixed on them. Image: Matrix Pictures

Mr Armstrong, as resplendently moustachioed as ever, donned a white suit and bow tie.

What if Colonel Sanders were outrageously, and dare I say annoyingly, good looking? This is a question no one has ever bothered to ask, yet now we have an answer.

Ms Clark, whose credentials for being a “TikTok sensation” are no less mysterious (but undoubtedly real) to me than quantum physics, wore a green dress with what could perhaps be described, by an amateur, as a feathery trim.

Finger lickin’ good. Is that KFC’s slogan? Was it ever? I might have the wrong fast food chain here. Image: Matrix Pictures

Tony affects a detached, James Bond-esque stance. Hey, the Broccolis are in the market for a new Bond actor, aren’t they? Is it like Australian of the Year? Can bloody anyone nominate a candidate? Because I have thoughts. Image: Matrix Pictures

My only real thought about Kat is that one of my favourite characters on Eastenders had the same name in about 2005ish. From memory she married a publican named Alfie? And some soapy hijinks ensued. Good times. Image: Matrix Pictures

I am told, incidentally, that Ms Clark has amassed more than five million followers documenting her life as a mother of two on the Gold Coast, and recently spoke out after being “shamed” for her revealing outfits.

“There was a particular dress I wore recently that I decided not to wear a bra with and a lot of people were offended by this,” she said.

“People were commenting, asking me to ‘put a bra on’ and to ‘have a little respect for myself’.

“A few people said they were ‘disgusted’ because I was a mother and didn’t have a bra on.”

I do find myself pondering the Venn diagram of people who tell mothers not to wear hot outfits and people whose Google search history includes the term “MILF”. Is it a perfect, immaculate circle? Who can say. But I’m glad all the individuals involved have “a little respect” for themselves, and none at all for anyone else. Absolute heroes.

We’re now straying into territory where I genuinely have no idea who the people wearing the dresses are, but bear with me, the captions from our friends at Matrix Pictures should provide at least some context.

Below is Caroline Gaultier, whose name suggests the founding of a luxury fashion brand, but whose biography identifies her as a “socialite”, and star of the Real Housewives franchise.

Two thoughts intrude in one’s head.

First the quote, whose origin I have sadly forgotten: “What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets.” And what is a socialite? Much the same.

Second, I do wonder how the Real Housewives show makes all the fake housewives of the world feel. Let alone the fake house husbands. Seems an unnecessarily judgmental title.

I must admit I’ve run out of cutting social commentary here so for the rest of the article we’re going to do photos with vaguely pithy captions and then let’s all get on with our lives.

Caroline Gaultier, in the sort of outfit that would qualify as BDSM if it were only made of leather. Image: Matrix Pictures

Don’t really know what to make of the earrings here tbh but they look like they could be the key/macguffin to some sort of ancient Egyptian contraption in an Indiana Jones film. Image: Matrix Pictures

Tahnee Cook, a former Married At First Sight contestant, though I’m getting period drama vibes from this. Are they still making Downton Abbey Christmas specials? She could defs be an old timey lady with a dark and narratively compelling secret. Image: Matrix Pictures

Elle Ray performing the traditional red carpet, seductive, half-turned, “I have just spotted you from across the room and I am VERY interested” pose. Image: Matrix Pictures

This person is called Sopha Dopha, which I appreciate. It’s not exactly Keats. You know, we can’t say this name is high poetry. But I do like a rhyme. Image: Matrix Pictures

Chloe Hayden. A tiara with headphones is the perfect sign of our times. If Elizabeth I were alive now (God rest her soul), this would be her crown. Image: Matrix Pictures

I admire anyone who wears sunglasses unnecessarily. Have never had the courage to do it myself, irredeemable uncool SQUARE that I am. Cast this person in the next Top Gun. Image: Matrix Pictures

Margot Robbie at the premiere of Barbie. (Sorry no it’s Dr Kate Adams who is very accomplished in her own field.) Picture: Matrix Pictures

The cast from the new Gladiators. I’m young enough to have failed to realise that the last iteration of the Gladiators were meant to be sexy. I just thought the challenges were fun. So naive. Sweet summer child. Image: Matrix Pictures

The orange Starbursts are the best don’t @ me. Image: Matrix Pictures

This is giving me 90s girl group energy. Can I name a single 90s girl group other than the Spice Girls? No. Was Girls Aloud from that era? Is that a real band? My god I’m so out of my depth here. Image: Matrix Pictures

Luna Lovegood later in life (it is actually, I’m told, a person called Peach. Not the princess though? Who can say. The TikTok award is in another castle). Image: Matrix Pictures

And here we have Adele Maree, whose outfit and demeanour are so inoffensive I can’t even come up with a dicky remark. I do hope you’ve enjoyed this commentary. If not, tell Rupert Murdoch never to let me near a red carpet again. Image: Matrix Pictures