SAS Australia: Sam Burgess’ terrible next move will only end in disaster

Sam Burgess is on a mission to restore his public image. And he’s doing it the worst way possible.

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Signing up for SAS Australia to save your damaged reputation is about as effective as trying to find a hot hook-up in your Facebook “suggested friends” list.

Troubled former footy star Sam Burgess is one of the big-name recruits set to appear in the upcoming series of Channel 7’s extreme reality show and we can already see it backfiring.

He’s in the fight of his life to resurrect his reputation after being battered by months of headlines following the breakdown of his marriage to Phoebe Burgess and the ugly fallout with her family.

It’s been one thing after another.

Explosive drug and domestic violence allegations were levelled at him last year, which he strenuously denied.

He was allegedly caught driving under the influence of cocaine in February while on the way to pick up the two kids he shares with his ex-wife.

His conviction for intimidation against his former father-in-law – who said the footy player threatened to “get” him during a heated stoush on the family farm in 2019 – was overturned in March by a New South Wales appeals court.

Offering a stark contrast, his ex-wife recently opened up to Stellar in an in-depth interview and offered a glimpse of her post-split life that has seen her move back to her parents’ farm with the two children.

Right now, Sam needs damage control. But instead of doing a low-key sit-down interview where he can thoughtfully address the controversies that plague his public and personal life, he has decided to sign up for one of the wackiest reality shows around.

When SAS Australia hit screens last year, it became a sideshow of circus freaks — all with embarrassing secrets and controversial scandals that were dragged out on-air.

For someone with so many skeletons in his closet, choosing to take part in this show is the worst decision he can make.

Sam Burgess pictured with ex-wife Phoebe Burgess at the 2016 Dally M Awards in Sydney.

The former NRL star is seen leaving the Moss Vale Local Court in February.

If you’ve never seen the program, here’s the gist: A group of celebrities — most of whom have really bad scandals in their past — are put through military-style training and then mercilessly interrogated about their controversies by trained soldiers.

Last year we watched as former iron woman Candice Warner was dragged out of bed by her ponytail at 2am and chained to a chair in a concrete cell where two soldiers grilled her relentlessly about her infamous toilet tryst scandal with Sonny Bill Williams. And then they did it again, like, three more times. The woman was tortured.

And don’t forget former Underbelly star Firass Dirani. His appearance on the show turned the country against him. It completely annihilated his acting career.

If that wasn’t bad enough, the bucket all the contestants use as a toilet then exploded on four of the celebrities.

There is absolutely no incentive to go on this show. It’s impossible for Sam to come out with a shred of dignity. Or a shred of clothing. This week he was photographed naked, bending over in some shrubs, while filming a challenge for the show. The humiliation just doesn’t stop.

Footage of last year’s now-infamous exploding toilet bucket incident.

Sam can look forward to the same brutal interrogations that Candice Warner endured.

At least last year’s celebrity contestants can argue they didn’t know exactly what they were in for when they signed up. But the new crop of recruits — announced this week — is willingly playing with fire.

Who else is appearing on the bill? Brynne Edelsten. Emma Husar. A Bra Boy. ‘Nuff said.

Erect the big top! Cue the circus music! Roll up, roll up! See the clowns cop a cream pie to the face!

Sam’s making the same mistake that countless reality TV contestants make every year. They sign up thinking they can game the system, outsmart producers and use the platform to build a glitzy post-show life.

At best, they score an Instagram endorsement deal for an off-brand fibre supplement. More often, they just wind up becoming a meme and then giving a glum interview to a newspaper where they blame producers and complain about getting edited badly.

It’s a modern-day cautionary tale.

Appearing on this show is not the way to repair your damaged reputation.

Sure, Schapelle Corby managed to pull it off last year when she did a stint on SAS. But, let’s be honest: when you’ve spent a decade in Kerobokan Prison, the only way is up.