Pretty boy’s TV move completely backfires | James Weir recaps SAS Australia 2023 episode 9

The Bachelor’s Tim Robards has made a TV comeback. And he’s been absolutely stitched up. James Weir recaps.

Tim Robards continues to be stitched up before our very eyes.

The merciless clowning of celebrity chiropractor Tim Robards reaches a climax during Tuesday’s SAS Australia as he continues to get stitched up harder than Michael Clarke on ACA.

It happens every year. One celebrity is cast on this extreme reality show as the punching bag – someone for the soldiers to mock and ridicule. We almost can’t blame Tim. His first foray into the spotlight was as The Bachelor, where he was held up as a trophy. But that was so long ago – even Osher Gunsberg had a different name back then.

On SAS Australia, Tim is portrayed as an airhead Ken doll whose official job is “beach”. And, if you look at his Instagram, well … it kinda is.

JAMES WEIR RECAPS:Read all SAS recaps here

Time is ticking down to the final day of the challenge. And the military team has one goal: squeeze in as many insults about Tim as possible.

The chiropractor-model-actor-reality-contestant is plonked into a sniper mission with instructions to identify and shoot an enemy in the distance who’s talking on a mobile phone.

“Special forces is all about making decisions in high-pressure situations,” the soldiers declare.

For Tim, the biggest decision he has ever had to make was choosing which girl to dump during the weekly elimination ceremonies on The Bachelor.

“I’ve always been generally not the best decision maker,” he winces. “I’ve always been the person who goes, ‘Hmmm?’.”

And that’s exactly what he does during the sniper task. Umms and ahhs, like he’s trying to decide which new pair of AussieBum speedos to buy.

‘Hmmm …’

There’s a gun in his hand and the clock’s counting down. The enemy spots him. He’s forced to abandon the mission and run away.

The soldiers go berserk. It’s not the first challenge Tim has stuffed up. His mistakes and failings have resulted in the military team branding him “all show, no tow”.

Later, during an interrogation, Tim’s hooded and chained to a metal chair in a concrete cell that’s filled with several burly men. Frankly, torture has never looked so good.

Jealous.

The soldiers ask Tim why he deserves to be in the competition.

“I believe I bring some intelligence,” he answers, his voice soft and innocent.

“Intelligence?” Ant spits.

“ … Intelligence,” Tim repeats.

Ant scrunches his face in disgust. “… Intelligence?”

Tim nods. We scream at the TV and beg him not to say it agai-

“Intelligence,” Tim reiterates.

The mockery reaches such heights we’re actually surprised the soldiers don’t ask him to spell the word “intelligence”.

‘I-N-T-E-L-L-A-J-A-N-S-E.’

Ant gets fed up and whacks the hood back over the pretty boy’s head. Tim secretly grimaces at the thought of his mussed hair.

Between the insults AND the lack of hair products, Tim is on the verge of tears.

With only one day left on the course, The Bachelor is close to the finish line. He just might prove the soldiers wrong.

Then, he can go back to the comforts of his regular day job. And by regular day job, we mean beach.

The SAS: Australia finale airs Wednesday night on Seven