MasterChef star Julie Goodwin opens up about her breakdown

“I lost my joy”: The MasterChef star fought back tears as she revealed just how bad things got during her 2020 breakdown.

Returning MasterChef contestant Julie Goodwin opened up about her mental health issues in Thursday’s episode of the show, confessing that she wasn’t sure if she was up for returning for this Fans Vs Faves season.

Goodwin has enjoyed a successful career since winning season one of MasterChef back in 2009 – but there have also been some well-documented down times. In early 2020 she filled fans in on the reason for her sudden five-week absence from her breakfast radio job, explaining that she had spent more than a month in a mental health facility to get treatment for depression and anxiety.

An emotional Julie Goodwin filled viewers in on some of her post-MasterChef struggles.

Goodwin, who had fans rallying after a nervous first cook during Monday’s MasterChef season premiere, said that her post-win journey had been a mix of “amazing highs” along with “struggles as well.”

“I had to do some serious assessment of my mental health and wellbeing … I’d reached a point in my life where I lost my joy. I had to give up my job on the radio – I couldn’t do that anymore – and I actually couldn’t set foot in my kitchen,” she revealed.

At one point, Goodwin thought she may have been done with her cooking career forever – but she said there was a lingering question that lured her back for another season of MasterChef some 13 years after her first reality TV stint.

“I think maybe I have done everything that I was here to do, and I have achieved everything that’s possible for me to achieve … so this for me is an opportunity to see if there’s another chapter. If there’s more,” she said.

Goodwin in season one of MasterChef.

Winning Thursday’s immunity challenge.

It seems there is: later in the episode, Goodwin was overcome with emotion when the judges announced her as the winner of the first immunity challenge.

“When the phone call came to do this, I didn’t know if I could,” she told them through tears. “Its been a tough couple of years, and I didn’t know if I was able to come back into this environment. My experience last time was that I fell over again and again, and I think I got to the end because every time I fell down I got back up.

“The phone call to come here was … it was the universe saying ‘It’s time to get back up.’

Goodwin said she felt buoyed by her early win in the competition: “To stand here and cook a dish and have it be deemed worthy … maybe I’m not done. Maybe there’s more for me.”

MasterChef continues 7:30pm Sunday on Ten.