Why are women still attracted to alpha males?

Married At First Sight has highlighted that women are still attracted to a certain type of man and there’s a wild reason why

OPINION

Nine’s Married At First Sight has made me realise two big things – hair extensions never look natural, and men that exude toxic masculinity are still hot.

Don’t shoot the messenger, please!

I don’t think it is good they are still hot, but there’s something about a man grunting while he takes out the bins that can seem sexier than an emotionally intelligent man making a souffle.

Between horny mum Melissa berating Josh for not being alpha enough because he didn’t want to be her human sex toy and Tayla accusing her groom Hugo of not being manly enough.

It has become clear we have a huge problem on our hands.

Some women are still turned off by modern masculinity.

Melissa was very clear she wanted lots of sex. Source: Instagram

Josh hasn't been afraid to express his feelings. Source: Nine

Tayla looked poor Hugo dead in the eye and told him he wasn’t man enough for her and listed why he wasn’t her type.

“A bit of a man’s man. Tradie, footballer. A bit rowdy. Likes to drink beer. You’re probably not my type,” she explained.

These women were still chasing the mystical and outdated alpha male.

They want James Dean in Hi-Vis with an addiction to eating meat pies for breakfast.

Instead they got stuck with nice caring men.

Both Josh and Hugo look like they own a bed frame and understand how to make a good stir-fry, but their brides aren’t turned on by them.

Hugo deserves better. Source: Nine

Tayla is very honest about what she wants. Source: Instagram

It’s interesting because we are seeing a shift in masculinity.

Harry Styles is the biggest heart-throb in the world. He wears dresses and smiles, but some women still carry a torch for the toxic men we grew up idolising.

You know, the kind of guy that can mend a fence but has no idea how to express his emotions.

So why? If we are seeing other healthy options of masculinity exist. Why are some women still waiting for a barbarian to win their hearts?

Psychotherapist, Dr Karen Phillips explains that it stems from our deeper desires: “Women have an unconscious desire to be cared for, protected, feeling safe and secure. Regardless of equality, women normally prefer the male to take on the traditional roles such as heavy lifting, fixing, earning capacity, hard work and intelligence levels.”

So are all women looking for a version of all their boomer dads – emotionally distant but can earn a good wage?

Well, you might be and not even realise it.

Dr Phillips explains that what we are attracted isn’t a conscious decision, “It comes from almost caveman days, and this remains in the deepest area of the unconscious part of the mind,” she says.

“Consciously, however, we want equality, and most jobs women can undertake competently. We still do secretly prefer the male to do them, though.”

Tayla and Hugo tied the knot. Source: Instagram

The way some of us think is so silly that when a man is sensitive, thoughtful and kind, some women can mistake that for weakness and see it as a turn-off

“It can shatter our belief he is strong and confident if we see the vulnerability side of him,” Dr Phillips explains.

So, how do we break out of this cycle?

Dr Phillip advises we enter into relationships knowing what we want rather than just because we find someone hot.

“It is essential to set your criteria,” she says. “Most of us never set our criteria for the perfect partner connection. Once we work to set our criteria, at least 30-40 points, the woman can quickly ascertain if the person can fulfil their criteria regardless of how attracted she may be.

“The criteria essentials can overtake the desire gauge, so she starts rechecking her requirements his/her person.”

Justice for Josh and Hugo, they are both catches.