James Weir recaps SAS Australia 2021 episode 4

Shock footage has aired on Channel 7 tonight as extreme reality show SAS Australia reaches an uncomfortable point. James Weir recaps.

Punches are thrown between celebrities during SAS Australia’s controversial boxing challenge on Monday — the scenes almost more distressing than the uncensored footage that’s aired of the camp’s communal toilet bucket exploding.

Obviously it’s a night of graphic content. If you don’t like violence and/or the kind of nightmarish hell you’d usually only witness in a service station bathroom on the side of a remote highway, then maybe you should head over to our coverage of The Blockinstead.

JAMES WEIR RECAPS: Read all the recaps here

On a lighter note, Bra Boy Koby continues to shine. His free-flowing musings on life have become a real treat. The theme of his latest sermon? Teamwork.

“If I’ve got a certain way to do something and I believe it’s gonna work, I’ll do the best of my ability to make that work,” he grunts. “And I don’t care about you, I don’t care about anyone else. It’s about me, y’know? Everything’s about me.”

Inspiring stuff. He should lecture at schools.

And just when you think he’s articulated the meaning of life, he goes and one-ups himself.

“You can be a winner or a loser. Failing hurts more. Winning feels good,” he says with a knowing nod.

I could listen to him talk all day. He has got to start a motivational meme account on Instagram.

Who needs the Dalai Lama when we’ve got Koby?

Back at the camp, all the celebrities play “rock, paper, scissors” to decide who has to empty the communal toilet bucket. Alicia Molik and AFL player Heath Shaw lose. Strap on your gloves and protective eyewear — things are about to get horrendous.

Those of us who tuned into SAS Australia last year will remember the epic toilet bucket explosion that claimed victims such as Candice Warner, Firass Dirani and Shannon Ponting. The trio were tasked with carrying the bucket to a larger barrel where they were to dump the waste. But, as they were lifting out the garbage bag that lined the bucket, its contents proved too heavy. The bag split open. And they were drenched.

Surely producers wouldn’t allow this to happen again. Well. Deja vu, b*tches.

It all starts out OK. Alicia and Heath carefully carry the bucket to the barrel.

They have no idea what’s about to happen.

Then they lift out the garbage bag:

I can’t look, I can’t look.

And it’s around now the bag splits and we see what can only be described as splatterings.

“Sh*t, f*ck,” Alicia closes her eyes.

“F*ckin knew that was coming …” Heath spits.

The contents of the bag splashes into the bucket, leaving Alicia and Heath no other choice but to drain it into the barrel. Producers then decide it’s absolutely necessary for us to witness a close-up shot of the bucket’s contents being tipped into the metal barrel. What goes to air is completely uncensored. Not a pixel in site.

It’s sickening. Distressing, even. So many questions come to mind. The first: Why? WHY?!

Which weirdo over at Channel 7 thought it was essential viewing for all of us innocent people at home? We tuned in to watch a lighthearted family-friendly show about celebrities getting waterboarded and exposing their sex secrets — not this twisted rubbish.

If you’re lucky enough to not see the scene play out on television, I’ve decided to provide a censored screenshot below. I had to edit it myself in Photoshop. The things I do for you people.

I expect you all to email me a letter of thanks for saving your eyeballs

Speaking of sh*t, Koby’s still talking a lot of it. We find him inside the sleeping quarters, where he’s quizzing former pro tennis star Mark Philippoussis about how much money he used to get paid.

“Did you earn a lot?” Koby grunts.

Silence.

Koby presses on. “What was your highest year of pay?”

Mark shifts uncomfortably.

“How much?” Koby demands. The continued silence doesn’t deter him. “Well, just on average?”

Mark tries to politely end the discussion with a vague response. “If you did well at a tournament — and you won that tournament — they’d give you big money to come back.”

There. Finished. Conversation over.

Or maybe not.

“But … payment wise, were they good?” Koby persists.

This show is just getting so crude and tasteless. Talking about money? Exploding toilet buckets? How crass.

Thank god we get a moment of respite from the vulgarity when everyone goes to take a shower together.

There is absolutely no incentive to sign up for this show.

We head back inside where Koby is making more friends over dinner.

“That’s pretty gross to do while everyone’s eatin’, ya know?” he snaps when Jett accidentally lets out a burp.

“Hmm?” Jett looks up.

“That’s pretty f*ckin’ gross to do while I’m eaten, bro,” Koby repeats, his mouth full of half-chewed food. “ … F**kin’ walk away. Don’t ever do that again, yeah? Disgusting, bro. Don’t ever do that at the table.”

Tensions are running high. And when all the contestants are dragged out to a field to compete in the controversial SAS boxing match, we get a clear indication of how everyone’s feeling about each other.

The soldiers pull Koby up first and ask the group to raise their hands if they’d like to be his opponent in the punching match.

Well.

This boxing challenge caused massive uproar when the series first aired last year. Remember Honey Badger laying into Sabrina Frederick? It was hard to watch. And tonight, things get uncomfortable again when 28-year-old Jessica Peris is picked to fight former Olympic volleyballer Kerri Pottharst, 56.

As soon as the match begins, Jessica swings wildly. Kerri cops multiple punches to the head and jabs to the body. She keeps turning to retreat but, instead of giving up, she just keeps copping wallops.

It’s brutal to watch. More than the exploding toilet bucket.

No joke: Kerri’s an absolute legend.

We’re in agony watching it and so are the other celebs. A distressed Bonnie Anderson is holding back tears.

“Don’t hit too hard on her face. That’s wrong. Stop …” Koby says. “My life has been around violence — violence towards women, that’s my mum’s life. I have a five-year-old — I don’t want him to grow up the way I grew up. I don’t want him see that sort of violence.”

The fight goes on for an excruciatingly long time. Kerri eventually falls to the ground.

Later, Jessica hugs her and cries.

“I’m so sorry,” she says. “That was the most disrespectful thing I’ve ever done.”

Kerri continues being absolutely awesome. “It’s totally OK,” she hugs her back.

The match takes its toll on everyone. Singer Pete Murray dislocates his elbow and has to quit the competition. And when it comes time for sporting icons Jana Pittman and Alicia Molik to get in the ring, they go hard until it all becomes too much for one of them.

“You can have my number,” Alicia puffs after copping a series of punches.

She strips her ID number off her sleeve and hands it to the soldiers, quitting the course. But she hasn’t lost. You survived an exploding toilet bucket, Alicia. You’ve absolutely won.

Twitter, Facebook: @hellojamesweir