Bek and Ash struggle in a ‘cursed kitchen’, get worst score ever in the history of the show

LOOKS, charm and the ability to flirt underwater might have got them this far, but it didn’t stop Bek and Ash from making unwelcome history on MKR.

IT’S happened. The worst score ever received on My Kitchen Rules.

Bek and Ash prove that looks, charm, mercenary husband-hunting skills and the ability to flirt underwater are, weirdly, not handy skills to have in a cooking competition.

Because, when it comes down to it, this IS a cooking competition.

Whether or not Bek and Ash are lovely sweet girls who mean well and deserve a second chance, they failed to achieve the one thing this competition is ultimately about: cooking skill. And they failed YUGE.

”I feel like this kitchen is actually cursed”, claims Bek after the thirteenth culinary cock-up of the night, and the nation is inclined to agree.

In just three courses, the girls go from this:

Custard!

To this deflated, pale, devastated mess:

Busted.

If you want to know how it’s possible to score a one out of ten from Pete and Manu, here goes:

MODEL YOUR RESTAURANT AFTER A MUSIC FESTIVAL

The only good food ever served at a campsite is toasted marshmallows, and eight times out of ten they fall in the fire too, just like Bek and Ash’s hopes of success.

As she’s hanging some for decoration, Ash warns that dreamcatchers are bad luck in some cultures, and by ‘some cultures’ she means ‘this dining room’.

If only they’d hung up recipes instead

DRIVE 45 MINUTES TO BUY YOUR FISH

The girls’ time-management skills can’t really afford a 90-minute round trip, but they say the trek to Fremantle is worth it for the best quality fish.

This statement is probably true for people who know how to cook fish, but not for Bek and Ash.

HANG YOUR ROMANTIC FUTURE ON YOUR SHORTCRUST PASTRY

While flirtatiously rubbing butter into flour, Bek comments on the burgeoning electricity between her and Kyle.

“I’m a little bit worried. If for some reason Kyle does actually fancy me, and then I cook him something that’s hideous, he’s gonna be like ‘ew’, I’m not gonna marry her”.

My advice is to either keep swiping on Tinder or get a cat.

MAKE A VAMPIRE-PROOF ENTRÉE

While the Perth pair spend a lot of time worrying about the size they’re cutting their vegetables, whether they’ll be overcooked, how limp their leeks are and how tiny their rapidly-shrinking tart cases look, they needn’t.

None of that matters when your entire first course tastes overwhelmingly of raw garlic.

“I’m hoping that the raw garlic adds another dimension of flavour” enthuses Bek.

It does! The inedible dimension.

“It’s killed your tart” says Manu, a harsh judgment on both their cooking and flirting skills.

Actual proof that Manu Feildel is a vampire.

INSULT A PERFECTLY GOOD FISH

Some would argue that you don’t need to dredge good-quality fish in flour, but there’s no time for that argument.

It’s been two hours since entrée, and Ash is just too busy talking about turning the heat under the frying pan down to worry about the flour decision.

“I’m worrying that I’ve got the temperature up too high and that the fish is going tough” says Ash, without turning it down.

“The butter is starting to burn” says Ash, without turning it down.

“It’s going to have a burnt taste to it, which is not what I wanted” says Ash, without turning it down.

“I’ve just burnt myself with the oil” says Ash, without turning it down.

Dude.

Turn it down.

Ash turns it down, but it’s too late. “Not even I, a skilled vet, can do CPR on this” says Bek helpfully.

It’s bad manners to make jokes at a funeral, Bek.

MAKE IT LUMPY

When making profiteroles for dessert, no single element is the right consistency.

If Bek and Ash ever market their own line of food products, they could easily call their brand ‘The Lump Ladies’.

Admittedly that would also work if they marketed their own line of bras, but for the moment we’re just focused on the things they’re bad at.

They’re bad at pastry.

Well it’s one for the runny.

They’re bad at custard.

Ew for the no

And they’re bad at chocolate sauce.

Three to get lumpy now go cat, go.

So, in a record-breakingly low score and to the relief of previous bottom-dwellers Betty and David, Bek and Ash are handed the wooden spoon.

We can only imagine the horrors they’re going to stir with it.

Jo Thornely is a writer who loves it when you explain her jokes back to her on Twitter. Follow her @JoThornely