The best Game of Thrones fight scenes
IT looks like an epic fight might be headed our way, so here’s a look back at Game of Thrones’ most brutal brawls. SPOILERS, duh.
THE lack of a new episode of Game of Thrones this week, thanks to the American holiday weekend, means that we’ve been given an extra seven days to salivate over the prospect of Oberyn Martell taking on Ser Gregor Clegane in fierce, mano y mano combat.
And given that Oberyn’s an expert in the field of, um, “manos,” perhaps we’ve finally found the guy who can take down “The Mountain” and put an end to his reign of terror and torture.
Oberyn won’t just be fighting for himself, of course. Sure, he’s been seeking revenge against the parties responsible for his sister’s brutal rape and murder for decades, but for this particular battle Tyrion’s life is also on the line. Yes, in the next episode “The Mountain and The Viper,” Oberyn’s fighting for two.
So he’s going to have to be at the top of his game.
As we wait for this showdown, let’s use this opportunity then to pull from three and a half season’s worth of fight scenes.
Bloody, knock down, drag out brawls to the bitter end. Clanging swords, ripping knives, things on fire that shouldn’t be on fire.
Game of Thrones has nearly seen it all. And given the official title announcement of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice this week, let’s look back all the times GoT characters have “v”d the hell out of each other. Here are eight great fights...
Bronn vs. Ser Vardis Egen
Let’s first check in with the last time Tyrion demanded a “Trial By Combat” - when Jaime wasn’t available to ride to his brother’s rescue and a sellsword named Bronn (of House Bronn in Bronnlandia?) stepped in to officially rep the rascal. We know Bronn did the deed for a lot of Lannister gold, but now we also know that a big part of his decision was that he knew that he could easily take a noble nitwit like Ser Vardis. After all, anyone who’s sworn their allegiance to a crazy woman and her simpleton son can’t be all that sharp himself.
He sure did do a great impression of bird s*** though.
Jaime Lannister vs. Brienne of Tarth
Aren’t all road trips destined to go sour at some point? There just comes a moment when everyone gets on each other’s nerves and it’s time to throw down. Someone keeps humming the same Lady Gaga song over and over. Another dude’s stopped wearing deodorant because “it’s not natural, maaaan.” The giant lady warrior’s sick of being called an ugly whore. The usual.
Not only was Brienne obviously the better fighter of the two, but she had the tougher job. She had to keep Jaime intact. So while he was actually trying to run her through, she couldn’t let any harm come to him. So she just wound up toying with him, like a dire wolf batting around a ball of intestines.
Ned Stark vs. Jaime Lannister
This was the big fight that Season 1 seemed to be leading up to, what with Jaime constantly getting in Ned’s face and being all smug and sneery. And if this were typical TV show, Ned would have probably vanquished the arrogant, preening sister-humper at the end of the season, standing tall and noble among a city of liars and weasels. But this is Game of Thrones, so it happened in the middle of the season and Ned took a spear to the leg from an overeager guard. And then the two of them would never meet again and we’d forever bid farewell to any notions of closure on this series. Or in life. Basically I can’t trust that any of my dreams will come true now.
Khal Drogo vs. Mago
Remember that time that one Dothtraki’s dude was like “Your wife’s a bitch!” and Khal Drogo was like “Hey, that’s the moon of my life, mother***er!?” And it was on! And the leader of the horde proved why he was top of the heap. Sure, Drogo wound up succumbing to an infection caused by the little scratch he picked up during the scuffle, but let’s not be too hard on him. Everything back then was covered in dust and faeces. It’s a wonder anyone made it past age seven with all their limbs not-amputated.
If you’re having trouble recalling this brawl, it’s the one where Drogo made all the ladies hot and bothered by ripping out his enemy’s tongue. Through his enemy’s neck. Which is actually the Dothraki word for “thank you.”
The Hound vs. Beric Dondarrion
It was Sandor Clegane vs. Westeros’ resident Mr. Potato Head (It’s true. If you checked Beric’s butt there’d be a compartment holding a second nose and some new ears).
One would think that lighting one’s sword on fire would give you an ample leg up on the flame-phobic Hound. I guess it just speaks to how much Beric sucked as a swordsman that he couldn’t overcome Sandor with a blade covered in pyro. Good thing his platformer came with extra lives and a save/continue function.
Daario Naharis vs. The Champion of Meereen
There was a big build up to this showdown, but it took Daario all of four seconds to dispatch Meereen’s exalted heavyweight champion. He had flowers to pick and Khaleesis to woo. He didn’t have time for a bunch of sand-covered silliness.
This one ended impressively quick, which was hopefully not the case in the episode “Mockingbird”, when Daario was commanded to use his other sword for an important royal task.
Ser Gregor “The Mountain” Clegane vs. Horse
In what’s hopefully not a preview of what lies ahead for Oberyn, here’s the scary skirmish between The Mountain -- played by a different actor at the time -- and a horse who made the mistake of being a horse standing next to The Mountain when he was angry about horses. Man, Glamorous Glue didn’t even make it out of the gates in this one.