The Addams Family is missing the macabre fun

If you’re going to remake a classic story, then you best be sure you get the crucial ingredient right. This new movie didn’t.

Why do respected stars such as Charlize Theron and Oscar Isaac do cheesy kids’ movies?

Sometimes it’s because they have children of their own and they want to make something their tykes can watch (which tends not to be the one where mummy is a deranged serial killer).

Other times it’s because they “owe” the studio a commercial movie in exchange for supporting their serious pet project.

Occasionally it’s because it’s based on a beloved property that they grew up with – and actors are definitely not immune to the strong pull of nostalgia.

Every now and then it’s because that kids’ movie has an incredibly compelling script and concept, and you just know it’s going to be great.

We suspect that in the case of the middling The Addams Family remake, it’s not the latter.

This 2019 CGI remake misses the mark in the most crucial element of what has sustained The Addams Family all this time – its offbeat, macabre vibe. If you don’t get that, you’re really not going to get any of it.

This Addams Family might be kooky and a little bit ooky, but they’re not creepy, mysterious or spooky.

It’s as if the bright clarity of the CGI technology managed to suck the grimness right out of the Addamses, and with it the edge and fun. Which may be the point if The Addams Family is aiming younger – nothing too sharp to hurt the littlies.

Less teeth, more warm and fuzzy

Gomez (Isaac) and Morticia (Theron), and their guests are chased by an angry mob during their wedding ceremony for being too strange. On the hunt for a new abode in New Jersey (apparently a place no one else will go), they settle in a haunted former asylum on a hill surrounded by swamp mist.

It’s exactly the solitude they, Lurch (Conrad Vernon) and Thing are after.

Years later, Wednesday (Chloe Grace Moretz) and Pugsley (Finn Wolfhard) have joined the throng, enjoying various ways of torturing each other.

But Wednesday is becoming curious about what’s outside the family home’s carnivorous gates.

In the time since the Addams clan moved in, a cookie-cutter community has been built up beneath them – you know, those “perfect” towns with their identical pastel houses and a pristine gazebo. It’s like that weird Disney town in Florida.

Trump Baby

The planned community is ironically called Assimilation and it’s the brainchild of Margaux Needler (Allison Janney), a reality TV host who needs to grab maximum ratings for her interior design show, and sell the remaining houses in the town.

She likes things to be exactly the same, and isn’t above anonymous trolling on the town’s online forum to get people into line.

Margaux is obviously a stand-in for Trump with her vertical bouffant and her general resemblance to the Trump Baby blimp, and the Addams are the stand-ins for the “others” – take your pick which, because Trump has plenty of targets.

The story itself and the political analogy in The Addams Family isn’t the problem – they’re perfectly fine elements that would work in any kids’ movie. And Moretz’s Wednesday Addams has a Daria-esque quality that’s appealing.

But there’s little about this that feels distinctly Addams-y, it could’ve been any [insert characters here].

Rating: 2.5/5

The Addams Family is in cinemas now

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