Sylvester Stallone’s Samaritan is a muddled disappointment

Sylvester Stallone is having a bad week. He needed a win and this isn’t going to be it.

Samaritan co-stars Dasha Polenco. Picture: Daniel McFadden / Metro Goldwyn Mayer Pictures

Sylvester Stallone playing an ageing superhero in hiding? What could go wrong? That’s not a facetious question.

Stallone is a great casting choice for Samaritan, which could’ve been an interesting movie.

Stallone has the physicality for the role – that’s not in question – but he’s also been able in the past to access real pathos and sadness. And this is a character that is dipped in regret. It was a great combination and Stallone knew it – it was his production company that mounted the movie.

So where did it go wrong? Why is it instead a muddled, occasionally unhinged and frequently boring disappointment?

Sylvester Stallone isn’t having a good week. Picture: MGM

Directed by Julius Avery, Samaritan is centred on Sam (Javon Walton), a young boy obsessed with Samaritan, one of two super-powered twin brothers who were the yin and yang of heroism and villainy. The other brother is named Nemesis.

Samaritan and Nemesis dominated Granite City until one epic showdown took them both out. That was 25 years earlier and everyone presumed they were dead.

But not Sam, whose bedroom is adorned with Samaritan accoutrement in the same way that another kid’s might be with Iron Man stuff. Sam believes Samaritan is still out there – and not only out there, but that he might be Joe Smith, a man who lives in the building across the courtyard.

Joe is a garbage collector fond of old junk that others have thrown away – the metaphor is obvious.

An odd couple that never quite matches. Picture: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures

When Sam is bullied by petty criminals in his neighbourhood and at risk of being recruited into a dangerous gang led by the deranged Cyrus (Pilou Asbaek), he and Joe’s paths cross.

The dramatic tension isn’t in the question of whether Joe is or isn’t a former super-powered being, but whether he and Sam can stop Cyrus’ murderous designs, especially now that the bad guy is armed with Nemesis’ former weapon.

There are rich narrative seams to be extracted but Samaritan manages to miss most of them in favour of spectacle. And the spectacle is mostly passable, with cacophonous standing in for compelling.

But that’s merely a slip, not where it falls down. Where it falters the most is this is a film that didn’t come close to mastering its tone.

Pilou Asbæk is doing a lot as the villainous Cyrus. Picture: MGM

Who is this film pitched to? The lead character is an idealistic, naive and sometimes plucky tween. His wide-eyed, unyielding belief in a former superhero positions Samaritan as a family caper, but the film’s violence and grimness leans towards adult action flick.

And yet, it’s neither. Grown-ups looking for some dark superhero diversions will find Sam far too juvenile while parents looking for kids’ fare will find Samaritan too shadowy. There’s a disconnect – it feels as if its lead character belongs in an entirely different movie.

Thirty years earlier, Arnold Schwarzenegger starred in a movie called Last Action Hero, a silly family friendly movie with Austin O’Brien (a then child actor who would then go on to be in My Girl 2).

The pairing of a 10-year-old boy who fights alongside his fictional action hero worked there because it didn’t take itself seriously and was in on the joke. It wasn’t a masterpiece by any stretch but it was frivolous and fun.

Samaritan doesn’t know what it should be, and not even Stallone’s still considerable screen power can do anything about an identity crisis.

Rating: 2/5

Samaritan is streaming now on Amazon Prime Video