Princess Eugenie’s royal wedding: The dress, the guests, the ceremony

STAUNCH Monarchists, maybe don’t read this. We take a colourful look at the second-best royal wedding of the year.

PRINCESS Eugenie is now a married woman, having wed Jack Brooksbank at St George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle.

Eugenie, 28, the daughter of Prince Andrew and his ex-wife Sarah ‘Fergie’ Ferguson, married her boyfriend of seven years in a ceremony attended by most senior members of the Royal Family — and a roll call of A-list guests (some surprising — Demi Moore? Ricky Martin?).

Cheeky wedding party steals the show

Meghan and Kate’s low key arrival

First — what we’re all here to see.

THE DRESS:

Excellent Prince Andrew photobomb there. Picture: Getty

Eugenie’s dress was created by designers Peter Pilotto and Christopher De Vos, who founded British-based label Peter Pilotto.

The bride wore Peter Pilotto. Picture: AFP

The cut of the dress showed off a scar on Eugenie’s back from a scoliosis operation she had at the age of 12 - this was a deliberate choice by the princess, who wanted to wear her scars with pride.

Some of the doctors and nurses who operated on her were present at the wedding. Picture: AFP

She chose to wear the Greville Emerald Kokoshnik Tiara, lent to her by her grandmother, the Queen.

Secret message in Princess Eugenie’s wedding dress

The tiara features rose cut diamonds set in platinum, with six emeralds on either side. She paired it with diamond and emerald earrings, a wedding gift from the groom.

No turning back now. Picture: AFP

“Later, peasants” Picture: AFP

Here’s the couple at the altar — Eugenie’s wedding ring is a piece of Welsh gold gifted by the Queen herself (I’m sure she has plenty):

They didn’t get the same lively vicar as Harry and Meghan’s wedding, a source of great disappointment to me.

All smiles. Picture: AP

It’s been a traditional ceremony — but one reading, from Princess Beatrice, stuck out.

Tragically the bride did not walk down the aisle to ABBA’s I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do. Picture: Getty Images

Beatrice read a passage from The Great Gatsby, about a man possessed with a “rare smile” that could make you feel like the only person in the room. Eugenie had previously told reporters Jack possesses just that quality.

There’s just one problem — the passage actually a description of a conman who uses his charm to lure unsuspecting victims:

I get the impression that the Princesses may not actually have read the Great Gatsby, seeing as they just read a passage about the smile of a conman about to massively defraud you pic.twitter.com/wjcZhV6hkT

— Ned Donovan (@Ned_Donovan) October 12, 2018

After their holy connubials, Eugenie and Jack were whisked away in a pumpkin-style coach:

No ‘JUST MARRIED’ sign on the back? Where is the attention to detail? Picture: AP

A tribute to modern dentistry. Picture: Getty

Now — the guests. No-one’s here to look at pictures of Jack Brooksbank, after all. Here’s recently-wed Prince Harry and Meghan Markle:

The deeply satisfied smile of a woman who knows more people cared about HER wedding

Kate and Wills, gettin’ all handsy:

PDA much! Get a room, royals.

Someone’s thrilled they don’t have the kids today.

Fergie Ferg and Princess Beatrice:

Beatrice this hat is nowhere near ridiculous enough. Please see us after class.

And can we talk about Fergie ditching the royal protocol when she got out of her town car, and running over to the crowds like she was The Rock meeting fans at a movie premiere?

Someone’s clearly stoked she’s out of the royal bad books for the day.

The Queen and Prince Phillip:

“Didn’t we JUST do one of these?” Picture: AP

Prince Phillip, 97 - and he doesn’t look a day over 96 and a half. Picture: AP

Here’s the groom (“WHO?” - world) arriving:

His name is Jack Brooksbank (don’t worry, you won’t have to remember it after today)

The adorable and deeply posh flowergirls and pageboys:

Why does my dude in the middle look like he’s haunted by a Victorian ghost

Prince George can always be trusted to find a camera lens. Picture: Getty

And a very pregnant Pippa Middleton:

She's due any day. Picture: AFP

Robbie Williams and wife Ayda Field’s six-year-old daughter Theodora is a bridesmaid for Eugenie. The royal couple have been friends with Robbie and Ayda for years after being introduced by Fergie (Eugenie’s mum - not the Black Eyed Peas wailer).

That’s his mother-in-law on the left — at one point her hat blew off and he DIDN'T HELP HER GRAB IT Picture: AFP

Model and actress Cara Delevingne absolutely knows she’s best-dressed:

She's got to pick a pocket or two. Picture: AFP

Rumour has it music legend Holly Valance was to sing an acoustic version of Kiss Kiss as Eugenie walked down the aisle (nb — I started that rumour).

*Screams from crowd* “State of Mind is an underrated pop classic!!!” Picture: Getty

Here’s Demi Moore, looking like she just killed a man and used her dress to soak up his blood:

MURDER ME DEMI. Picture: AP

Kate Moss brought her mini-me daughter:

“So you’re telling me there’s no champagne on offer until the reception?”

Naomi Campbell looked absolutely amazing. She should be a model!

Black leather gloves? How wild you think that reception’s gonna get, Naomi? Getty

Pixie Geldof was among the early guests struggling to hold onto their hats in high winds:

Remember that scene in Summer Heights High when Mr G danced in the giant pink sack? Yeah. Picture: AP

He looks like he just found out how much this is costing taxpayers Picture: AP

Chelsy Davy, who famously dated Prince Harry for seven years (from 2004 until 2011) was also among the earliest arrivals.

It’s understood Princess Eugenie and Chelsy have been close friends for years - and it was actually Eugenie who introduced her to Harry.

Chelsy Davy (left) and a Smurfette friend. Picture: Matt Crossick/PA Wire

Another Hollywood star on the invite list — actress Liv Tyler for some reason:

She’s here early cos she Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing. Picture: AFP

She ain’t famous, but we have to salute the strong hat game on this lady:

Emma Joy Kitchener and Julian Fellowes. Sis did you swipe one of the guard’s hats? Picture: AP

We don’t know who these people are but no doubt they’re richer than all of us Picture: AFP

Seriously, is this wedding being held in a wind tunnel?

The word you’re looking for is schadenfreude

We have a runaway hat! SECURE THE PALACE GATES! Picture: AP

One A-list couple who are not in attendance, ending months of speculation: George Clooney and wife Amal. Brooksbank works as the European Brand Manager for Clooney’s tequila company and the Hollywood couple were among the famous faces at Harry and Meghan’s wedding in May.

Even the OTT foliage isn’t safe in these winds. Picture: AP

Overnight, Eugenie and her fiancee fronted up to the cameras for an interview on ITV, the channel airing the wedding in the UK after the BBC knocked back the option to air the event.

Eugenie admitted the prospect of such a big wedding was “a bit scary,” but at the end of the day you get to marry the person you love … and you’re going to be at the end of the aisle, and I’m going to be running towards you!”

The nuptials came five months after the other royal wedding of 2018, Prince Harry’s wedding to American actress Meghan Markle.

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