James Weir: When did chefs decide they were financial experts who could run million-dollar empires?

His empire crashed and burned this week. But we shouldn’t be surprised when rock star chefs fail in business.

When did chefs decide they were financial experts who could run million-dollar empires?

There’s always such shock when a rock star chef’s kingdom crumbles. But they’re just cooks! They’re skilled at julienning carrots and using those cool tiny flame torches to caramelise desserts – managing the cash flow of a million-dollar conglomerate and then expanding into homewares ranges and ready-made sauces for Coles is not covered in the apprenticeship.

NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS: Listen to James Weir’s podcast

I’m a journalist who makes fun of people behind their backs. Do you think my company’s CEO is calling me up for financial advice on the yearly budget? Dating advice, sure. Sometimes hair care tips. But he doesn’t need business pointers from someone who can’t pay rent this month because they drank too much tequila and bought off-brand teeth alignment trays from a 3D printing internet company.

On Monday it was confirmed George Calombaris’s restaurant empire Made Establishment had entered voluntary administration and 12 venues across Melbourne were immediately shuttered. Yet another chef brought down by their own bad business skills. He’s our own Jamie Oliver.

George Calombaris is a chef, not a business titan.

There was no coming back for George after last year’s $7.8 million wage underpayment saga. The final kick to the guts for workers? They found out they were jobless because George posted it on the ’Gram.

“To all my team, I truly regret it has come to this,” he wrote on Instagram. “I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your loyalty and friendship.”

His workers have come out and said this post drifted into their timelines and that’s how they found out about their futures. Jeez. Talk about being force-fed a Michelin-starred crap sandwich. That’s on par with finding out your ex has a new boyfriend because they posted a pic and made it Insta-official.

Remember last year when George was up to his apron strings in wage woes and an old quote came back to haunt him?

In 2012, he complained about having to pay waiters weekend penalty rates because “it’s not like they’ve had to go to uni for 15 years”.

Welp, George, maybe if you went to uni for 15 years you’d know how to run a business.

George Calombaris has spoken on camera. Picture: ABC/7.30

WORDS BLOKES CAN’T SAY

This week on the Not Here To Make Friends podcast, we touched on all the hard news sweeping the globe at the moment. And by, “hard news”, I mean, whether or not mankles are hot. For the uninformed, mankles are “man ankles” and it’s a term that came about thanks to the rise of the cropped pant trend. As to whether they’re hot or not, it’s my personal belief it’s a case-by-case kinda thing.

The reason mankles came up is because on Married At First Sight this week, one of the guys was wearing a cropped pant. And then we got talking about the loafers he was wearing, which then took us down the winding rabbit hole of sockettes.

The mankles in question.

A unanimous conclusion was reached that “sockettes” is not a word blokes can say – or, more specifically, it’s a word they really don’t want to say because it makes them sound like a big girl.

Guaranteed, a big burly guy will go out of his way to avoid saying the word. “Babe, when you go to Myer can you get me more of them … ah … those … little socks?” they will grunt, ensuring they avoid the real word completely even though they absolutely know it.

Sockettes is just one of many words some guys don’t want to say. Delicatessen is another. Serum. Pâté – I know guys who’d rather pronounce it as “pate” knowing full-well they’ll sound like an idiot but they’d rather that then let those delicate inflections exit their mouths.

Blow-dry bar is another thing they won’t say, but mainly because they can’t wrap their minds around what the hell it is. Oh, and valance! If you’re looking to troll your tradie boyfriend, send him to Adairs and make him ask for a valance.

Of course, the word rosé is up there with sockettes. I’ve said it before in this column: Australia’s ultimate man Russell Crowe wouldn’t say “rosé”. He’d call it “that pink stuff”.

However, some guys are just clueless and won’t say rosé because they just don’t know any better.

Columnist Janna Hocking proved this on the podcast with a real-life case study.

“He called rosé ‘rose’,” Janna said of a guy she dated. “And he video called me from Dan Murphy’s and said, ‘Which ROSE do you want?’ I said, ‘Turn around and go home’.”

AUSTRALIA’S UNLIKELY MAFS INFLUENCER

When sporting stars retire from the game, the pressure is always on as to what their next move will be. Will they pull a Michael Klim and release their own line of body washes? Not retired NRL player Eric Grothe Jr. He has found his calling as a MAFS influencer.

The former Parramatta Eels player is experiencing a second wind in recapping the reality show on Instagram. What got him hooked? Not the drama or the love stories. It was Trish – that British expert with the bangs and the really long sleeves.

He documents it all on his Instagram. You’ve been warned: it gets pretty wild.

Twitter, Facebook and Instagram: @hellojamesweir

The new face of MAFS: Eric Grothe Jr.