Chrissy Teigen says she’s depressed and ‘lost’ after bullying scandal

In an emotional post, Chrissy Teigen has admitted she is “depressed” after stepping out of the limelight following accusations of cyber-bullying.

Chrissy Teigen has written an essay length-post addressing her recent cyber-bullying scandal.

The 35-year-old told fans how she’s learned a “whollllle lot” being in the “cancel club”.

The star also admitted to feeing “depressed” and “lost” since taking a step back from public life after facing accusations of being a cyberbully in the past.

In her caption, Teigen told her 34.9 million followers how “going outside sucks and doesn’t feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes me depressed head race”.

She also spoke about how she “desperately wants to communicate” with her fans instead of “pretending everything is okay”.

Chrissy Teigen is getting real with her followers. Picture: VALERIE MACON / AFP

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“I don’t really know what to say here … just feels so weird to pretend nothing happened in this online world but feel like utter sh*t in real life,” the model wrote in a caption next to an image showing Teigen’s living room from her perspective.

“Going outside sucks and doesn’t feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes my depressed head race. But I do know that however I’m handling this now isn’t the right answer. I feel lost and need to find my place again, I need to snap out of this, I desperately wanna communicate with you guys instead of pretending everything is okay. I’m not used to any other way!”

Teigen first apologised for past cyber-bullying in June. Picture: Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for The Recording Academy

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Teigen went on to say: “Cancel club is a fascinating thing and I have learned a whollllle lot. Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know ’til you’re in it. And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiny when you’ve clearly done something wrong. It just sucks. There is no winning. But there never is here anyhow. All I know is I love you guys, I miss you guys, and I just needed an honest moment with you because I’m just … tired of being sick with myself all day. I don’t even know if it’s good to say any of this because it’s gonna get brutally picked apart but I dunno.”

She concluded her post by giving a shout-out.

“I can’t do this silent sh*t anymore! If you or someone you know has also been cancelled please let me know if there is a cancel club reunion because I could use some time off my couch! Thank u and goodbye I love u.”

Chrissy Teigen says she desperately wants to communicate with her followers. Picture: chrissyteigen/Instagram

Teigen first shared a lengthy public apology in June stating: “Not a day, not a single moment has passed where I haven’t felt the crushing weight of regret for the things I’ve said in the past.”

The wife of John Legend came under fire after tweets originally written in 2011 resurfaced online including one suggesting a then 16-year-old Courtney Stodden take a “dirt nap” (slang for die).

Chrissy Teigen was shares two young children with singer John Legend. Picture: Chrissy Teigen/Instagram

Lindsay Lohan was also targeted by Teigen. In 2011, she wrote: “Lindsay adds a few more slits to her wrists when she sees Emma Stone.”

Designer Michael Costello accused Teigen and her stylist, Monica Rose, of black-listing him which he said brought on suicidal thoughts. But Teigen hit back at Costello, claiming the designer was lying about the accusations.