Children being taught to gauge babies' consent before hugging

Children are being taught to check whether a baby agrees with being hugged in consent and respectful relationships classes.

Children are being taught how to gauge a baby’s consent before hugging.

Primary school children are being advised to check a baby agrees with being hugged in consent and respectful relationships classes.

The Herald Sun analysed six books widely used by teachers and educators to teach consent and respectful relationships in primary schools.

Many experts see consent education as needing to starting at birth and children are even asked to negotiate what kind of greeting to use with each other in one book.

In echoes of the government’s disastrous milkshake videos, some books also use a range of metaphors to talk about sex, including choosing pizza or applying sunscreen.

Don't Hug Doug suggests that children should ask babies, grandmothers and friends if they can hug them.

Let's Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent and Respect say people should “explain what they are doing with a baby’s body from the moment they are born”.

One popular book by Jayneen Sanders called Let’s Talk about Body Boundaries, Consent and Respect, states: “even though a baby can’t speak, you can tell if a baby wants to be hugged … if they don’t want a hug, they might cry or have a sad face or try to push you away.

Jayneen Sanders told the Herald Sun people should “explain what they are doing with a baby’s body from the moment they are born”.

“You can’t ask permission but you can explain what you are doing when you are hugging them or changing them,” she said.

“Forcing a child to show affection is setting them up to say yes to things a big person wants to do to them,” Ms Sanders said.

Sexuality educator Debbie OIlis, an associate professor at Monash University, said it was appropriate to start body safety skills with babies.

“Children being forced to sit on Aunty Doris’s knee and kiss her on the lips can be most at risk of harm from others. It’s about giving children the principles and language to say they don’t want it,” Dr Ollis said.

Can We Talk About Consent? uses discussions about pizza to discuss consent and agency.

Kit & Arlo Find A Way features characters that are queer and non-binary.

Another book called Don’t Hug Doug by Carrie Finison and Daniel Wiseman makes the same point, suggesting that children should ask babies, grandmothers and friends if they can hug them.

Can We Talk About Consent? by Justin Hancock, a UK relationships educator, uses discussions about pizza to discuss consent and agency. One section is about “How to meet each other’s pizza needs”. The book also covers the need to negotiate greetings and suggests that children could say something like: “How would you feel about having a greeting of some kind? I’d be up for a handshake, fist bump or hug.”

Another book is Kit and Arlo Find a Way by Ingrid Laguna, which features characters that are queer and non-binary.

A book for eight to 12-year-olds, it uses topics such as applying sunscreen, choosing food and playing with Lego to discuss consent.

Brandon Friedman from sex education provider Elephant Ed said books that use “inferences and symbolism do a disservice to young people”.

He said correct terminology was important but must be age-appropriate.

Dr Bella d’Abrera, from the Institute of Public Affairs, said parents should be concerned.

“Consent education is a trojan horse through which the state will ensure that children are inducted into the cult of radical gender theory from five years old upwards,” she said.