Elite swingers club loosens strict entry rules

The internet went ape over the strict rules at an elite swingers club in Melbourne’s leafy east, now it’s back in the spotlight over recent changes to its entry requirements.

Kew’s Monkey Club has relaunched a flashy new website, with a list of new rules for members.

Andrew Rule and Mark Buttler with the latest scallywag scuttlebutt.

Internet goes ape over new swingers club rules

One of Deadline’s most devoured items of last year concerned Kew’s Monkey Club, a venue regarded as Melbourne’s number one place for the discerning swinger.

Out there in the leafy inner-east, our painstaking investigation found strangers were going hammer and tongs within blocks of the city’s elite private school belt.

After that piece ran, the Monkey Club went a bit underground and their online home appeared to be very hard to find (someone told us).

Anyway, they’re back on the net big time with a flashy new website.

There are plenty of the old rules we highlighted last time.

Blokes granted entry must take care not to be wearing scungy old jocks purchased around the time colour TV was invented.

Aspiring visitors must send in photos of themselves wearing next-to-nothing and not use filters to tidy things up.

The stipulation that women must be sized six to 10 appears to have been loosened to between eight and 12.

Fellas, forget about sucking your gut in; it’s there in black and white that they’re on to that trick.

On the positive side, expectations aren’t ridiculously high.

“We NO NOT expect you to be a super model,” the site soothingly says, though you must be aged under 35.

The latest information shows MC is doing its bit to ease cost of living orgy pressures, not raising fees from last year’s $150 per couple and $80 for women who lob alone.

In further good news (for Mike Myers fans at least), the 1960s-style Austin Powers bed remains in service.

Anti-vaxxers should be aware of the need to be double vaccinated.

Jimmey Barkho busts a move at a wedding in Melbourne's northern suburbs.

Barkho busts out the moves

Gangland figure Jimmey Barkho has hit a few hurdles in the past year.

There’s been a spell in custody after some weapons issues and intense police scrutiny has fallen on him and some comrades from the Notorious Crime Family gang.

But things were looking decidedly better for Barkho as he kicked off his heels at a recent wedding in the northern suburbs.

The beaming Barkho and other revellers were having a great time with some traditional cultural dance moves and much other merriment displayed in video posted online.

There is no suggestion of the kind of a post-ceremony burn-out show by guests which was such a feature of Barkho’s own nuptials last November.

Meme instant karma for Lennon

A meme depicting Melbourne solicitor Patrick Lennon talking on a phone connected to a gravestone.

You know you’ve really made an impression when someone cooks up a meme about you. Unfortunately for Melbourne lawyer Pat Lennon, this has not been a good thing.

Our colleague Ben Butler has been painstakingly covering the travails of Mr Lennon and on the weekend revealed a court had found he had launched bankruptcy proceedings on behalf of a dead man.

This came after allegations Mr Lennon had been “taking instructions from beyond the grave” and acting on behalf of a “zombie company” and led to a meme of Mr Lennon talking into a phone connected to headstone.

Never let it be said Deadline is too proud to reheat old material. Here’s the meme for those who missed it.

Decades in the frame

Annette Steward was brutally killed in her Geelong West home. Picture: Supplied

The family of Geelong West mother Annette Steward will be hoping they are on the way to finally getting answers after a man was last week charged with her 1992 murder.

Also looking for some measure of justice will be a tradie from the area who has spent decades regarded as prime suspect in the brutal killing at her Hope St home.

Ms Steward died two weeks shy of her 30th birthday, a case that became the subject of a $1m reward in 2015.

The tradie, a co-worker of Ms Steward, was named by a Coroner as the prime suspect in 2007 and subsequent TV coverage of him, complete with spooky music, did nothing to diminish that impression.

He didn’t want to speak when contacted last week by Deadline and could hardly be blamed.

Smash up Derby Day

Much speculation last week about a Toorak woman being busted for drink-driving in East Melbourne.

The 58-year-old ploughed her black Lexus into a Jeep then reversed into a Mercedes-Benz, before blowing .263 when the cops turned up to the scene.

That’s a hell of a lot of Dom Perignon.

Anyway, Deadline can confidently report the woman involved is not the high society figure whose name was last week furiously circulating in connection with the ill-fated booze cruise.

We have no idea where this kind of stuff comes from.

Daddy’s boy

There’s a difference between being violent and tough.

One character known for senseless, cowardly acts of brutality is obviously unaware of the distinction.

When he recently picked a fight with another criminal, he made sure his daddy was on hand, presumably so he could interfere if things started to go badly.