Deadline: This prison-issued toothbrush is the stocking stuffer you’ve been searching for

What do you get the true crime buff who has everything this Christmas? How about a lived-in piece of Port Phillip Prison memorabilia?

For Deadline: Port Phillip Prison items for sale on eBay just in time for Christmas. On sale are, Toothbrushes which cannot be turned into shivs are up for grabs.

Mark Buttler and Andrew Rule with the latest crime buzz.

A prison break for loved ones

Are you stuck for Christmas gift ideas again this festive season?

Well, allow Deadline to come to the rescue with an array of thoughtful presents straight from maximum security.

Deadline’s colleague, Herald Sun crime reporter Regan Hodge, came across the correctional system options on eBay, headed by what is described as a pair of genuine Port Phillip Prison runners.

It isn’t clear who once owned the sneakers, but who cares?

Just imagine the thrill of tucking into the Christmas turkey with family and speculating on whether your new shoes were once worn by a killer, armed robber or humble bash artist.

Such an exclusive set of kicks (hopefully tinea-free) would not have needed the hard-sell but the vendor gave it anyway.

“Grab a piece of history with these HM Port Phillip Prison Runners from 2023. These collectables are a unique addition to any prison memorabilia collection,” goes the pitch.

“Perfect for fans of slightly unusual and weird stuff, these items are sure to spark conversation and intrigue, these runners are a must-have for any enthusiast of prison-related products.

“Men’s size 10 minimal use for roughly 2-3 months covering the grounds of the soon to be gone forever, notorious: HM Port Phillip Prison.”

A lived-in piece of history, these sneakers spent 2 to 3 months covering he Port Phillip Prison yard.

Sure, you could splurge on a pair of RM Williams boots for the same price, but where is the fun in that?

There’s free local pick-up, if you can get to Yarrawonga.

Port Phillip Prison will close next year, perhaps leading to the ad’s enthusiastic claim that the runners “may be a collector’s item”.

For those who can’t make the asking price of $400, there are other options with a jailhouse theme.

Gentlemen, you can surely imagine the delight when your partner first catches sight of her very own PPP toothbrush, still in its clear plastic packaging.

It has the added bonus of being “no-shank”, eliminating the risk of being stabbed in the unlikely event the gift doesn’t hit the mark.

Safety-first and an absolute bargain at $24.98.

Turn heads in your communal bathroom with this flexibrush-soap combo.

Available for the low, low price of just $50.

There’s only one of those available but, mercifully, choices aplenty with the penal theme.

For some reason, many of them seem to involve dental products, including a new flexibrush and soap for $50.

The flexibrushes were thoughtfully introduced by correctional authorities trying to stop rigid-handled models being sharpened into shivs and used to stab other inmates or staff.

The prison-issue syringe bleach can be snapped up for just $150.

Handy for readers from families that get on the Christmas drink then start to fight late in the afternoon.

There is more than just PPP footwear and oral hygiene that can go under the tree.

Who hasn’t dreamt of taking the wrapping off their very own package of prison-issue syringe bleach.

Despite being listed as “rare”, it can be snapped-up for just $150.

Edward Scissorhands 3

We’ve previously covered the various travails of an eastern Victorian crook who has had all manner of awful run-ins.

When he isn’t in trouble with the law, he has fallen foul of the other local villains in excruciating fashion.

He became known as Edward Scissorhands after being grabbed by a fairly uncompromising fellow who removed some of his fingers during a torture session far from prying eyes.

A nasty car accident followed as Edward tried to make his way to hospital.

We’ve more recently heard about another nasty experience he had with fish hooks used to great effect by another bloke who took him somewhere quiet to make his point.

Our spy in the area informs us that those two have recently made up and are now on good terms.

Many empty fish hooks hanging in deep blue water

Hell on Earth

Some interesting times for the justice system when new laws restricting children’s social media access come into place.

An indication of the kind of challenges ahead came from a Deadline contact too disreputable to name who told us about his daughter creating a small community in a sandpit recently.

She had dubbed this imaginary joint “Struggle Town”, prompting dad to ask why.

“Because they don’t have internet,” came the reply.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year

Low-key investigations are underway into the suspicious disappearance of goods from one company’s Christmas charity collection.

As with many offices, staff are encouraged to donate goods for those less privileged and place them in a tub next to the coffee machine.

Unfortunately, someone opened a bag of chocolates destined for the less fortunate and took one to have with their brew and, pretty soon, other workers joined in and there wasn’t much left for the intended recipients.