Deadline: Claims of stolen valour trigger bowls club Anzac Day brawl

It was a case of the Battle of the Long Sesh at a western suburbs bowls club on Anzac Day, when allegations of unearned medals and plenty of cool ones led to biffo.

A few too many cool ones and claims of unearned medals led to some an ugly conflict at the bowls club.

Mark Buttler and Andrew Rule with the latest scallywag scuttlebutt.

Battle of long sesh

A group of over-refreshed ex-servicemen and other combatants did their best to commemorate Anzac Day with ugly conflict at a bowling club in Melbourne’s western suburbs.

The warring parties came together late in the day amid shouted allegations of faked records and unearned medals.

Our man in the spot said one bloke was hit with what might be described as a coward punch, knocking him onto one of the club’s greens.

Others traded blows as onlookers, many just there to watch the footy and have a few beers, looked on.

Not sure how the ANZACs would have viewed kicking a bloke while he’s on the deck but that’s what our witness assures us happened at one point.

Moonshine melee

Another nasty grog-fuelled fracas recently broke out inside jail walls, Deadline is told.

The word is that some prisoners had been making their own brand of bootleg grog using what limited resources were at their disposal.

They must have had some kind of success because a group of them later wound up pretty hammered.

As can happen from time to time in our licensed premises, some nasty words were exchanged among the drinkers.

Things escalated to the point where one detainee was left unconscious after the situation turned physical.

They say necessity is the mother of invention, and so it was when a few Victorian prisoners wanted to get loaded.

On the job on the job

Policing is mostly a stressful 24-hour job and sometimes it keeps diligent law men and women from hearth and home.

Deadline has recently been told of a prime example involving two male officers and, though it happened a while ago, it warrants belated recognition.

The pair had been so busy keeping us safe that they decided independently to use sleeping quarters made available to fatigued officers at a major police station.

The story goes that one of them had been lonely and brought in a female friend to help him through the night.

He and his companion became quite noisy and energetic for a time, before settling down to catching zeds.

Unfortunately, trying to sleep next door was another officer of more sober disposition who had to get back on the other kind of job first thing in the morning.

To use the kind of corporate-speak our major institutions love, the hard-core activity next door did not align with his values.

The word is that the insomniac reported the Lothario and the latter received a right-royal rogering from his superiors.

Above the law

Smoking and its socially undesirable cousin vaping have long been banned at the footy, as venue signs and announcements constantly advise.

Obviously, the on-duty cop seen recently at the MCG openly vaping away on match-day is vision-impaired and hard of hearing.

A real ingrate

One VicPol employee really needs to look at his personal hygiene after he and a colleague recently offered a third party a lift in a work car,

The backseat passenger found himself sharing the rear of the vehicle with a mountain of exercise detritus, including sweaty jocks carelessly cast aside after a workout.