Titus O’Reily: What the AFL really meant to say on crowd behaviour

A (realistic) AFL statement on fan behaviour: We want to create a safe and fun environment for all fans to enjoy the football in the most expensive manner possible — everyone has a right to buy a cold burger for $17.50. Titus O’Reily on what the AFL really meant to say.

Titus O’Reily knows what the AFL really meant to say on fan behaviour.

The AFL has concluded its investigation into an incident involving an umpire and a patron at the match between Carlton and Brisbane.

And yes, we too were surprised there was a fan at this game.

The patron was spoken to by both Marvel Stadium security and Victoria Police.

During the discussion, the Carlton fan started making a lot of good points as to how bad the umpiring was, including a powerful argument about how the AFL’s constant rule tinkering had made the game we all love a “bloody nightmare”.

His views on the “protected zone” were particularly compelling.

So convincing was the man, police seriously considered arresting the umpires, with an AFL official having to step in.

Eventually, the Carlton fan was instead evicted from the ground, missing out on seeing a Blues victory.

Umpire Mathew Nicholls took issue with being called a bald headed flog. Picture: Michael Klein

The AFL considers this a punishment on the same scale as a Hawthorn supporter being kicked out of a Grand Final win, so there will be no further punishment.

At our venues we want to create a safe and fun environment for all fans so they can enjoy the football in the most expensive manner possible. Every Australian has a right to purchase a cold burger for $17.50.

For more than 100 years, the footy has been a place to come together, barrack, cheer and try to understand what happened to incorrect disposal.

I mean, it was a thing once and now it’s just ignored and we know it drives you fans crazy, which is basically why we do it.

In 2019 there has been no change to the expectations of the behaviour of everyone at games. The AFL has just discovered how much fun it is to randomly throw people out. I mean, did you really expect consistency from us?

UMPIRE ABUSE IN THE WOKE AGE

GIL RESPONDS TO JOFFA BOYCOTT

While barracking and supporting is strongly encouraged and a vital part of the game, offensive or aggressive behaviour will not be tolerated, unless it’s directed at Adam Goodes.

Then we will do nothing, until not one, but two documentaries are made, shaming us into issuing a media release late on a Friday before a long weekend.

This is for crowd behaviour of course — if you’re on radio or TV, you’ll be fine. You can say almost anything and we’ll do absolutely nothing about it.

Picture: The roof debate rages on at Marvel Stadium: Picture Getty

The Debate: Should the roof at Marvel Stadium be permanently closed for footy?

Pro

• Closing the roof will help you forget you’re in Docklands.

• Will correct an error where the builders of the stadium forgot the sun existed.

• Make us all hope we’re one step closer to closing the whole thing.

Con

• Given the teams that play home games at Marvel, being blinded by the sun is a blessing

• The ongoing debate over whether the roof should be open or not is the only interesting thing about Marvel Stadium.

• A common sense approach like this goes against the very fabric of the AFL.

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