There’s only one thing I need from TV right now

FORGET about cliffhangers or crime, as the year draws to a close there’s only one thing I’m looking for on TV, and it’s hard to find, writes Colin Vickery.

JUST give me a bloody laugh.

That is what I say whenever I sit in front of the television in 2017. Never before have comedy programs been so necessary just to keep the sanity.

That is because the world has seemingly gone mad — and watching heavy dramas and documentaries is the last thing I want to do when I hit the couch at night time.

Let’s face it, except for the gay marriage survey result, the Socceroos making the World Cup and Richmond’s fairy tale AFL Grand Final win, the year has been one long downer.

Day after day people have had to soak up the endless scary tweets by US President Donald Trump, worry about a nuclear war with North Korea, learn of horrific attacks by terrorists or nutters such as the devastating shooting in Las Vegas, see a whole apartment tower go up in flames, or hear of catastrophic weather events such as Hurricane Irma.

It is enough to make a grown man cry — and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t choke up on numerous occasions watching the nightly television news.

More Family Feud, less My Kitchen Rules. (Pic: supplied)

So the last thing I want to do at 7.30pm is see a bunch of wannabe cooks turn bitchy on My Kitchen Rules or stunt couples shouting at each other on Married at First Sight. When that happens I just go “shut the f*** up”.

Dramas that I watched in the past such as Law & Order: SVU, with Mariska Hargitay as Detective Olivia Benson solving sex-related crimes, are also on the no-watch list — too dark.

Even lighter dramas such as Offspring don’t resonate. All of a sudden the navel-gazing romantic entanglements of Asher Keddie’s Nina Proudman seemed totally irrelevant.

Earlier this week I watched a preview of the first episode of SBS documentary series Struggle Street and I felt guilty that I couldn’t get emotional. I didn’t know where to start to solve the problem of poverty. I just felt overwhelmed.

This year more than ever I have looked to television to provide some fun to counter the insanity of world events.

If I want some news I would rather get my fix via Mad as Hell or Have You Been Paying Attention? where comedians such as Shaun Micallef, Sam Pang and Ed Kavalee can take the living piss out of pompous politicians.

Married At First Sight provided more stress than stress relief. (Pic: Channel 9)

The only way I can watch My Kitchen Rules or Married at First Sight is via Gogglebox where they are sure to be sent up.

If I want a reality show, I’ll take I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here! Julia Morris will land some zingers and I can watch B-grade showbizzers eat bugs. I call that a win-win.

If I want a documentary series it will be Michael Portillo in his ludicrously colourful outfits travelling by train across Europe or America.

I’m even finding myself lapping up the silliness of Family Feud and — shock horror — drifting to repeats of The Big Bang Theory.

I know I should be ashamed but the shows I have needed this year are ones that provide escapism.

I reckon it is the same as it was back in the Great Depression when audiences flocked to Shirley Temple films like Curly Top or Busby Berkeley musicals like 42nd Street.

They wanted to be entertained and uplifted. They wanted to escape the horrors of the real world even if it was just for a couple of hours.

It is the same with me. I don’t want to watch Dateline or Insight or 7.30 or A Current Affair but give me a cat doing a funny trick and I’ll be watching.