Labels like ‘gay’ and ‘bi’ aren’t divisive. They’re necessary

In a society that caters to heterosexuality in virtually every conceivable way, labels are a source of solidarity, writes Seb Starcevic.

Tim Dormer has fallen in love with best friend Ash Toweel. (Pic: Instagram)

When I read Tim Dormer’s coming out speech, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

Don’t get me wrong: the Big Brother winner has my heartfelt congratulations. Coming out is a courageous act that deserves universal admiration, especially considering Dormer’s public profile. (His success comes from cameras logging his every move, after all.)

That’s not to say those who don’t dare leave the closet due to social rejection, geographical isolation, economic anxiety and/or personal safety concerns are any less praiseworthy, but anyone who has the chutzpah to live their truth under the glare of public scrutiny gets mad props from me.

In saying that, though, Dormer’s essay contains some problematic assertions which need to be unpacked. See for yourself.

“I’ve always considered my sexuality to be fluid and I’ve never been interested in labels which categorise and divide,” he wrote, captioning a smiling pic of himself cosying up to his new beau on Instagram. “I’m only interested in celebrating what we all have in common, the freedom to share the most precious beautiful gift that holds this magnificent universe together... LOVE.”

Now, that’s a nice sentiment and certainly it’s Dormer’s prerogative to identify however he wishes, even if that means not identifying as anything at all. He’s correct that sexuality sits on a spectrum, like the Kinsey scale. No one can tell him how to feel. Only he can know the depth and complexity of his attraction.

But his objection to labels reveals a profound misunderstanding of the purpose they serve. It implies that those in the LGBTI community are “categorising” or “dividing” themselves by being open about their identities. This take reeks of ignorance.

Labels serve an important purpose. (Pic: iStock)

There’s a reason pride is such a recurring theme in the LGBT world. All gay, queer and gender nonconforming people have been made to feel ashamed of themselves at some point, making owning your identity an act of defiance.

In a society that caters to heterosexuality in virtually every conceivable way, labels are a source of solidarity. Admitting to yourself that you’re gay, or bi, or transgender opens up whole communities of like-minded thinkers, artists and activists.

And considering the drastically higher rates of suicide, sexual violence and homelessness for LGBT people, the importance of community cannot be understated.

This debate also extends to issues of race. When conservative commentator Tomi Lahren appeared on The Daily Show to announce that she doesn’t “see colour,” host Trevor Noah — who was born in South Africa during apartheid — retorted: “There’s nothing wrong with seeing colour. It’s how you treat colour”.

Indeed, inequality doesn’t exist because minorities do, and ascribing blame to the oppressed for their predicament helps no one but their oppressors. Rejecting labels is just another form of victim-blaming, signalling that if we weren’t so determined to be different, the bigots would be kept at bay.

Sure, in a broader sense, we’re all human beings, each of us members of a single species and that’s a fact often forgotten in our highly sectarian society, with its innumerable wars over race, religion and resources.

But our differences should still be acknowledged. We don’t have to be the same to be equal.

Let’s not tiptoe back into the closet by using language designed to placate the majority or omitting language crucial to identifying ourselves for fear of being written off.

Is that too much to ask?

Seb Starcevic is a columnist and commentator

Twitter @BookshelfOfDoom

Originally published as Labels like ‘gay’ and ‘bi’ aren’t divisive. They’re necessary