You know you’re in Melbourne’s south when ...
FROM giant gnomes and pigs to fake hotels, there’s something unique about taking a trip to Melbourne’s south. Here are 20 ways to know you’re there.
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NEED to get away from the hustle and bustle of Melbourne’s CBD?
As any ‘southerner’ knows, there’s plenty of weird, unique and totally awesome things in Victoria’s south.
Sure, there’s a lot of stigma around ‘Funkytown’, ‘Crimebourne’, but anyone that’s taken a day trip down the Mornington Peninsula knows that there’s no way you’d want to be anywhere else, especially not north of the river.
Here are some unique sights and things you must do when you head south down EastLink or the Nepean Highway before you can be considered a true Southerner.
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1. Stop by South Melbourne market for the best dim sims ever.
2. See the super ‘exclusive’ hotel on EastLink that no-one can get a booking at.
3. Take a photo at the Brighton Bathing boxes.
4. Being blinded by the chrome gnome
5. Resisting the urge to put something funny on the tommy Bent statue.
6. Performing a P-Turn at Australia’s weirdest intersection in Frankston.
7. Getting extremely jealous when you drive down the ‘Golden Mile’ in Brighton.
8. Or you might enjoy the other Golden Mile that Kath and Kim would always rave about
Kel Knight: So, John, what do you think of Australia?
Kath Day Knight: Oh, yes! Tell us. Be honest, be honest.
Kim Day Craig: It’s the best place in the world, isn’t it?
John Monk: Well to be perfectly frank with you, I was a little disappointed in Edithvale, and Aspendale and, to some extent, Mordialloc. But once I got past Parkdale and into the Golden Mile, oh, I was blown away.
Kim Day Craig: Oh, yeah.
John Monk: I mean, with Ikea on one side, and Ray’s Tent City ad Barbecues Galore on the other, it doesn’t get much better than that.
Kim Day Craig: No, it’s fantastic.
Kath Day Knight: It doesn’t, indeed.
9. Stop by the Dandy Pig for a market bargain.
10. Spot the Chompomatic trying to complete a food-eating challenge.
11.Complaining about the eyesore that is South East Water building.
12. You get to ‘admire’ this bird art
13. Get confused by the naked mermaids on the highway in Baxter.
14. Get lost at the Adventure Garden Maze at Athurs Seat.
15. Get lost in the Cranbourne Botanic Gardens.
16. Instead of going on a pub crawl, you go on a winery crawl on horseback on the Mornington Peninsula.
17. Relaxing in the incredibly peaceful Peninsula Hot Springs
18. Spending hot summer nights at the Rosebud foreshore caravan park.
19. Not being able to get a park within 5km of your local beachside cafe on any day over 30C.
20. Being swarmed by posh city folk in weird outfits at the Portsea polo.
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