Woman told she’s a ‘sperm donor baby’ by phone

A MELBOURNE mother is distressed that her adult daughter learned from authorities by phone that she was ‘a sperm donor baby’.

A MOTHER whose daughter was told by phone that she is “a sperm donor baby” has called for laws to be changed to protect families.

The Brighton woman said she felt “absolutely sick and angry, so, so angry” to learn the Victorian Assisted Reproductive Treatment Authority informed her daughter last month that her biological father was a sperm donor.

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The woman wishes to remain anonymous because her late husband’s family believe her daughter is the last in their family’s genetic line.

She demanded to know why she was not contacted before her daughter was approached.

“I said, ‘why on earth wouldn’t you contact the parents?’, and was told, ‘because we’ve found the parents wouldn’t necessarily tell the children’,” the mother said.

“It is disgraceful telling her over the phone ... it’s got such potential for damage, the way they’re handling it, and it is wrong.”

In keeping with IVF policies of the day aimed at preventing stigma, she and her husband were advised to never tell their child she had a donor parent.

“The big thing is the fact it (legal access to identifying information about donor conceptions) has been made retrospective,” the mother said.

“When we did this in 1978, of course it was all about anonymity. There was no way you could get any details or any history or anything like that, which is another reason we thought ‘what is the point in telling someone if they can’t do any checking down the track’.”

A woman has been told by phone that she is “a sperm donor baby”. Digitally altered generic image

Changes to Victorian donor conception legislation gave pre-1988 sperm donors and the children produced the right to seek identifying information about each other.

VARTA chief executive Louise Johnson said donor-conceived people would only be contacted for consent to pass on information if the donor applied for it.

She said the authority was bound to contact donor-conceived adults directly, not via their parents, and advised people to attend its offices with a support person.

VARTA announced last week that fresh information about donors to early fertility programs at the Prince Henry’s, Queen Victoria and Royal Women’s hospitals were allowing more people to connect with their donor or donor offspring.

“We know from our research that donor-conceived people understand their parents might have had difficulty having that sort of conversation; it was an era of secrecy,” Ms Johnson said

“But at the same time they’d like the parents to be the ones to tell them.

“One of the reasons we’re providing information to the media is to publicise how the legislation works so parents can have that conversation with their adult, donor-conceived children.”

Changes to Victorian donor conception legislation gave pre-1988 sperm donors and the children produced the right to seek identifying information about each other. Generic picture: iStock

She said at least a dozen Australians had accidentally discovered their parent was a donor as a result of the recent DNA ancestry testing trend.

She encouraged parents to tell children who had a donor.

The mother said she deemed it too late to do so since her husband died while their daughter was young and their agreement had been not to divulge their reproductive treatment.

“My (late) husband’s family live overseas, to them (our daughter) is the last of their line, if they found out she wasn’t really biological it would be devastating.”

She believes the donor whose sperm was given to them was told his sperm was to be used “for research”.

She said her daughter had been told that donor had three children, one of whom had also been contacted and one who had yet to be. Identifying information can be sought by donor offspring even donors did not consent at the time.

The mother wants laws changed to allow for parents to be informed before children are that a donor is seeking identifying information.

“Imagine if it (the person being informed) was someone who didn’t have their head together or was going through a difficult period; this whole thing could be a bombshell that could tip them over the edge,” she said.