The Babes Project supporting young mums across Melbourne

HELEN Parker went through pregnancy alone and with little support. It was an experience she was determined other young women shouldn’t have to go through.

The Babes Project founder Helen Parker with her daughter Ariel, 18, young mum Lauren and her two children, Skye, 3 and Willow, 1, who have been supported by the organisation. Picture: Nicki Connolly

YOUNG, single, vulnerable and pregnant — a situation in which countless Australian women find themselves. And when they do, they also discover there is little to no help available — something Helen Parker is on a mission to change.

Each year Parker’s not-for-profit crisis pregnancy organisation, The Babes Project (TPB), supports almost 200 women across Melbourne.
It’s the kind of support Parker struggled to find when she was 20 and pregnant.

Part way through an architecture degree with no job, no family support and facing homelessness, Parker decided the joy of her baby would far outweigh the challenges she faced. With ad hoc help from the Salvation Army, Helen soldiered on, giving birth to daughter Ariel.

“When I was pregnant, everyone told me I couldn’t do it,” Parker says. “But I look at Ariel now and, really, at every stage of her life she’s been a joy, but more than that, having Ariel helped me find my passion in life.”

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Parker was alarmed at the lack of holistic support for pregnant women and talked to her midwife about what more could be done.

“There are so many Band-Aid options and things that address the initial crisis, but not a lot that really equips and empowers women towards good parenting,” she says.

After years of research, voluntary work in a hospital and a goal to bolster crisis pregnancy support in Australia, The Babes Project was born.

Helen Parker with young mum Lauren Klausmeier and her two children Skye, 3, and Willow, 1, at The Babes Project in Kilsyth. Picture: Nicki Connolly

The first centre opened in 2012, supporting women from conception to baby’s first birthday through its peri-natal program, “equip a mum” initiative, antenatal education and much more.

“It’s amazing to have a dream, but when you see the need walking through the door, it’s quite confronting, and we knew pretty quickly that we needed to get our program really tight,” Parker says.

Many of the expectant and new mothers who walk through TBP’s doors are facing more than just the challenges of becoming a parent.

“More than 70 per cent of women we supported last year had a history of mental health issues — and, disturbingly, nearly half are concerned about their social isolation during pregnancy,” Parker says.

In 2016/17, 29 per cent of the women reported experiencing domestic violence — their partners often blaming their actions on the pregnancy.

“Women are changing their own lives; we are just giving them a safe space where they can start to understand their journey and values, and rediscover their dreams,” Parker says.

Australia is a society where young mothers are often judged and shamed.

The Babes Project Founder Helen Parker, with daughter Ariel. Picture: Nicki Connolly

The Babes Project graduate and mother-of-two Lauren Klausmeier was terrified to leave the house when she fell pregnant.

“I actually had two elderly women spit at me because I was pregnant and young, with tattoos, piercings and different-coloured hair,” Klausmeier says.

Parker says shame is the biggest characteristic of crisis pregnancy.

“Unfortunately our society does still look down on women if they haven’t really planned their pregnancy or are in a vulnerable situation where they need to ask for help,” Parker says. “They do feel judged. I remember feeling that and I see it in the women we walk alongside and they express that, too. I remember the shame.”

Klausmeier is mother to Skye, 3, and Willow, 1, and says without TBP she would be a wreck.

“I fell pregnant with Skye when I was 19 and I was excited, I was head-over-heels with my boyfriend,” she says. But the relationship broke down.

Klausmeier found TBP when Skye was three months and started on peri-natal support.

“My mum’s friend told me about The Babes Project and I didn’t go for a while because I was terrified, but I made it out there and fell in love with it,” she says.

Single mum Lauren with Skye and Willow, who have been supported by The Babes Project. Picture: Nicki Connolly

She then found herself pregnant and alone again, excited about becoming a mum to a second beautiful girl, but daunted by the reality.

“Falling pregnant with Willow, the relationship didn’t work out, and the Babes, all of them, were there for me every step of the way and still are,” Klausmeier says. “I love it (being a mum). You do have your down days but the giggles and smiles make everything
all better.”

Klausmeier is taking many positive steps to secure a happy life for her family.

Lauren says will be forever grateful for the support she received from the crisis pregnancy support service. Picture: Nicki Connolly

“I am starting university next year and I am going to buy a house and get that job and give the girls the best future they could want,” she says. “TBP has helped with that because they believe in you when a lot of people don’t.”

This year marks eight years since The Babes Project formed, and last month a milestone was celebrated — Ariel’s 18th birthday.

“What I love about Ariel turning 18 is when you are in that moment of thinking, ‘Gosh how do I raise a child on my own?’, you just don’t think of how great your kids can be,” Parker says.
“It’s pretty exciting to be at this end of things and think just because of my circumstances at the time, it didn’t matter.

“To be able to say to the mothers we work with, ‘I was in your situation, and look at us now’, I’d say we’re proof that you don’t have to accept where you are in life now, you really can transform your world.”

The Babes Project founder Helen Parker with her daughter Ariel who has just celebrated her 18th birthday. Picture: Nicki Connolly

Ariel has just finished year 12 with hopes to study arts and law at university, and one day make her own mark on the world.

“My mum has never not been working hard for something and for other people, and her passion for that has inspired me,” Ariel says.

“I really look up to her and feel if I ever find myself in a situation where I don’t know what’s ahead, I’ll know my mum made it through and did really well so I can too.”

Parker hopes to change the conversation about how a community nurtures new mothers and equips them for parenthood.

“It’s absolutely not OK that women are going through pregnancy and early parenting unsupported,” Parker says. “As a society we need to step up and do more. So I will not stop until I know that every woman knows she can access support.”

thebabesproject.com.au