Social media popularity contests fuelling giant teen gatherings for kids as young as 12

A TREND in showstopper birthdays is putting kids as young as 12 at risk from wild teen parties, along with naive parents in denial about the partying habits of their children.

Max Wenn 17 (centre) goes to parties with his friends (L) Chris Moutafis 16 and Alex Glazebrook 17. He is allowed to drink moderately if his parents are sure there is proper parental supervision. Picture: David Caird

A TREND in showstopper birthdays is putting kids as young as 12 at risk from wild teen parties.

Naive parents who are in denial about the partying habits of their children are also putting their kids in danger, experts say.

A spate of recent reckless teenage parties in Melbourne have led to a number of venues refusing to take bookings for underage events.

Social media popularity contests are fuelling the size of the giant gatherings.

Security expert Naomi Oakley said parties were attracting up to 150 guests.

“It used the be 16ths were the big ones and now they’re getting younger. From 12 and 13 kids are having larger events,” Ms Oakley said.

“These parties often have 150 people on average — it’s a way for the hosts to seem to be popular and parents support it.

“At 13 kids are bringing alcohol and drinking and by 14 they are experimenting with drugs and sexual behaviour.”

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PLANNING THE KEY TO AVOIDING TEEN PARTY DISASTER

Commercial. Group of teenager friends partying and throwing colorful confetti from hands with sunset. Reef Hotel Casino. Cairns Eye Australia Day feature 21/01/17

Formerly a police officer, Ms Oakley now runs U-Nome Security, specialising in private parties.

She said risky underage behaviour peaked at 16.

“Social media plays a big role — there’s an awareness of image as seen in the sending of nude photos at 13 or 15,” Ms Oakley said.

Sacha Kaluri and Sonya Karras, authors of The Two Worlds of Your Teenager, said parents were often naive and in denial about the partying habits of their children.

They said children as young as 12 were going to mixed parties with access to alcohol behind the backs of their parents.

“Parents don’t think their kids could do anything wrong — they think it couldn’t be their little one going off their head,” Ms Kaluri said.

Their podcast series, The Secret Life of Teens and Sex, Drugs and Relationships, offers advice for both teenagers and parents on partying and other issues.

“Start talking to your children from a young age about alcohol, drugs and sex,” Ms Kaluri said. “So when they encounter these things at a party, it’s not the first time you’ve talked with them about it.”

“You need to raise your kids to make great decisions when you’re not around.”

Balwyn mother-of-three Sue Moshopoulos has been taking her three teenage children to parties for years. She said parties “tended to get out of hand at a younger age”.

Although her own children’s parties have all been small and well controlled, a few others have served as warnings for others. “I have seen parties where children turn up drunk, parents have to come and pick kids who are vomiting, gate crashers trying to get in over the fences and police being called,” she said.

Recent law changes state it is against the law to give teenagers under 18 alcohol unless their parent or guardian has given permission.

But Melbourne lawyer John Melia said parents should be wary of teenagers forging permission notes from their parents.

He said the party hosts “owe a duty of care to the minors and this can be breached very easy when they have no control over the alcohol consumption or the conduct of others”.

“For instance, an assault of one minor by another, the rape of another while intoxicated, or a drug overdose,” he said.

Mr Melia said the host parents should also have a responsible serving of alcohol certificate.

Geoff Munro, national policy manager of the Alcohol and Drug Foundation, said teenagers on average started to drink at 16.1 whereas in 1998 it was 14.4.

“Parents are getting the message that alcohol is not good for young people’s brains,” he said.

Data from the Teen Drinking Law website shows only one in five Victorians aged 16 and 17 have never touched alcohol.

GOOD TIMES START AT HOME

Abby and Ali, both 17, getting ready for a party while their mums Janet Ward and Sue Moshopoulos watch on. Picture: Alex Coppel

Balwyn mother-of-two Janet Ward has always encouraged her daughter Abby, 17, to get ready for parties at home with friends.

“I can keep track of what they are drinking, offer a platter of snacks and make sure they have lots of water,” she said. “I also like to pick Abby up so I know where she is and I know she’s home safely.”

On Saturday, Abby was getting ready for the Trinity Grammar Formal with Ali Moshopoulos, 17.

Ms Moshopoulos said parties “tended to have calmed down by the time everyone has turned 17 or 18”, but she said parents still needed to by wary.

“If you see kids in groups with backpacks at parties then they’ve probably got alcohol on them. Often, they find out where the party is and hide it in neighbouring bushes a few days earlier,” she said.

Max Wenn, 17, goes to parties with friends Chris Moutafis, 16, and Alex Glazebrook, 17. “Teenagers can be very secretive about drinking alcohol, causing parents to have bag checks and monitoring toilets at parties,” he said.

The friends from the eastern suburbs have the occasional beer, cider or wine with their parents’ permission. Alex said she was a moderate drinker. “Once you’ve had too much it’s a real lesson and you learn pretty quickly what your limit is”.

Tips for safe partying

-Talk to your children about safe alcohol, drugs and sexual behaviour when they are young.

-Ensure you know the law about providing alcohol to minors

-Set a rule as to what age you will allow your teen to drink and stick to it.

-Talk to your children about peer pressure.

-Common drugs your children may encounter are marijuana, ecstasy and GHB. Make sure they know what to do if they are offered these drugs and things go wrong.

-Meet and get to know other parents.

-If you are holding a party make sure there is a written guest list, security and other adults present.

-If appropriate, register with police.

-Most teenagers who are assaulted are leaving parties by themselves and have been drinking or are drug-affected. Ensure they travel in groups and walk each other to cars, taxis, Ubers and public transport.

-If they travel by taxi, call and book one rather than flagging one down.

Source: The Secret Life of Teens podcast by Sacha Kaluri and Sonya Karras