Preselection chaos could see Labor MPs looking for new jobs

Frank McGuire, Cesar Melhem and Luke Donnellan could all be hunting for new jobs with preselection chaos looming for Labor.

Apparently rumours of Fiona Patten’s defection to Labor have been greatly exaggerated. Picture: David Crosling

One of the wildest rumours on Spring St this week has been talk that Reason Party leader Fiona Patten would deflect to the ALP.

Fuel to the fire was the extension of the preselection nominations until December 10, meaning any such move could happen away from the spotlight of the pandemic bill being pushed through parliament, which would have been bad optics on any level!

Liberal maverick Bernie Finn took to social media to peddle the rumour publicly, but Baz has been told the whole thing is a beat up with Patten dubbing it “a ridiculous proposition’’. “They’re talking about me, not to me,” she told Baz.

Baz wondered how such a move would help Patten, given she’s carved a niche as a fairly effective independent lawmakers, and is pretty cosy with the ALP anyway.

Why move to the backbench? Although given how perilously close she came to losing her seat at the 2018 election, the security blanket of a number 1 spot on a Labor ticket may be alluring.

Still, with Patten ruling it out, it seems nothing more than silly season speculation.

Which bring us to whispers in Baz’s ear suggesting massive preselection chaos in the Labor camp, with the December 10 deadline for nominations looming.

Suggestions the national executive, which is still controlling the Victorian branch, are going to pull some moves on the government that would potentially see Frank McGuire, Cesar Melhem and Luke Donnellan all hunting for a new job.

Dirty game, politics.

Frank McGuire is one of the people who could be without a job.

Cesar Melhem may also fall foul of the political games around preselections. Picture: Nicole Garmston

YOUR HONOURS OBJECT

First they came for the wigs, but the latest intervention by court boffins has left many of our finest legal minds gasping for air. They’ve taken the smoko garden! Yes, believe it or not, in some industries smoking is still the norm, not the exception. Travel to the other end of the city and you’ll be thankful for that blasted mask in your pocket as you try and navigate your way through the clouds of second-hand smoke in the legal precinct. Baz has always been told never trust a lawyer. But he doubly doesn’t trust one who doesn’t smoke. Which is why all hell has broken loose over the closure of the County Court’s level 3 rooftop garden and smoking area, with the court to go smoke free from Monday. Sacre bleu! Baz is assured more than a few judges have been left disgruntled by the move. Which reminds Baz of the urban rumour of the prominent Melbourne QC who, when told the building which housed his chambers was to go smoke free, bought the building. Puff on!

RA-RA RALLY OUT OF PUFF

The Trump-lite ra-ra rally kick starting the Liberal Party’s state election campaign last week was more bark than bang.

Lots of talk, but not so much action according to some in attendance.

Matthew Guy didn’t come out dancing to some cheesy pop song, like Trump be accustomed to doing, which was a big tick.

But the rally also failed to have anyone much excited with “more MPs than members there” according to one source.

A shed in Dandenong with a couple of hundred Liberal diehards was always going to struggle to lift excitement levels.

Although, Baz is told one whose excitement levels couldn’t be dulled was that of Guy’s chief of staff Mitch Catlin, who doubled as a voiceover artist for the day.

“He loves a microphone,” one source said.

With a background that’s more showbiz than politics, Baz is not surprised.

GARY’S DRUM SOLO

Was Labor backbencher Gary Maas sucking up to big boss Dan with his debut Instagram posting this week? Or was he poking fun at Matthew Guy? Baz really can’t tell.

The member for Narre Warren showed how much time backbenchers have on their hands, miming and pretending to play drums, bass and keyboards to the soundtrack of Mary Wells’ My Guy.

Labor backbencher Gary Maas takes to the drums.

Is Maas trying to strum his way to a spot on the front bench?

The lyrics to which go a little like this:

“There’s nothing you can do,

“Could make me untrue to my guy (my guy)

“There’s nothing you could buy

“Could make me tell a lie to my guy (my guy)

“I gave my guy my word of honour

“To be faithful and I’m gonna

“You best be believing

“I won’t be deceiving my guy.”

It really was something, and if indeed an Ode to Dan, it’s clear Maas is pining for a spot on the front bench.

If a crack at opposition leader Guy, then it may have missed the mark.

Still it was only liked by 21 people so, could always try again.

PUNCH DRUNK AND PASSING LAWS

Not since 2017 have we seen such a marathon sitting of parliament as we did this week.

For 25 hours the upper house sat, with 21 hours straight debate on the controversial pandemic management Bill which was finally passed on Thursday.

Liberal Democrat Tim Quilty fell asleep, independent Catherine Cumming danced into the dawn, and Reason Party leader Fiona Patten was sprung doing stretches.

Some MPs ducked off to the bar, presumably, or to grab some shut eye in between divisions. Some were noticeably absent for much of the debate.

Others, like Attorney-General Jaclyn Symes, battled through all night.

Dr Catherine Cumming and David Limbrick after the pandemic Bill was passed. Picture: Andrew Henshaw

Symes must have fielded hundreds of questions about the Bill, with her frustrations growing as the eyes rolled into the next day and beyond.

Not even a change of clothes could quell her increasing frustration.

Baz reckons there must be a better way.

After all, research shows staying awake 20 hours or more is like having a blood-alcohol level of .1, or double the legal limit.

There’s one thing to be drunk on power, but actually drunk when passing laws? That can’t be good.

HOLLYWOOD ON SPRING ST

Hollywood came to Spring St this week, and no, not just with the at times Oscar-worthy performances of MPs grandstanding during the epic 25 hour marathon sitting of the upper house on Wednesday.

British actor and Sons of Anarchy star Charlie Hunnam, has been seen about town filming his lead role in Shantaram, the highly anticipated Apple TV drama.

Charlie Hunnam filming a scene for Shantaram.

Shantaram was adapted from Gregory David Roberts’ 2003 novel of the same name, in which a convicted Australian bank robber and heroin addict escapes from Pentridge Prison and flees to India.

Filming has been taking place around Spring St and up near the Premier’s HQ at 1 Treasury Place.

Baz is keen to see which mug MP has managed to score a cameo as a background extra.

You can be sure some have tried.

GUESS WHO

Who was the government adviser reprimanded for taking photos of opposition MPs in the upper house during debate on the pandemic management Bill? And why?