Parents urged to ask babies for permission to change nappies

Parents have been told to ask for their baby’s help with nappy changes, under a set of bizarre new guidelines.

An Australian childcare chain has encouraged parents to ensure nappy changes are “respectful” — and to even ask their toddlers for “co-operation”.

Staff from Only About Children centres, including 22 in Victoria, ask babies for their permission before changing their nappies.

They are also told not to wash babies’ faces without warning and to avoid saying things such as “stop crying” and “don’t hit others”.

The chain issued advice to parents in a recent newsletter, with nappy-changing tips that included waiting for toddlers to stop playing before changing their nappy because they “don’t like to be interrupted”.

“Ask for your baby’s help, talk them through what you are doing and encourage the use of senses,” the advice says.

“When toddlers become mobile, nappy changing may look quite different. Continue to ask for co-operation but understand that your toddler may wish to now stand for their nappy change.

“Also to encourage their independence, you may ask him to take off his own nappy or wipe himself.”

National education manager Angela Ngavaine said the childcare chain’s approach was based on the Resources for Infant Educarers method, which sees children as an individual with their own voice and opinion, even if they are non-verbal.

Mum Anna Du Rieu, pictured with her daughter Rachel, does not think that infants should be asked for consent to have their nappy changed. Picture Rebecca Michael.

She said it doesn’t mean nappies weren’t changed if the baby didn’t indicate consent.

“We involve them in the process and we make eye contact and say, ‘are you ready for a nappy change’?” Ms Ngavaine said.
“Some may look away or shake their head and so we say, ‘I can see you’re not ready, how about I change Jack and then come back to you’?”

She said the approach extended to tasks such as wiping a child’s face while eating.

“Coming around to the child and saying, ‘I am going to wipe your face now’ and showing them the face washer is another way,” Ms Ngavaine said.

Educators are also taught to ask children and babies before they are hugged to ensure it’s what they want and to avoid negative reprimands.

Rather than say “don‘t climb inside”, Only About Children teachers would say something like: “I can see you want to climb on the furniture but it’s not safe, so let’s go outside and find a climbing frame that’s safe”.

There are also no time-outs for bad behaviour, Ms Ngavaine said.

Instead, educators might say: “I can see you’re angry and so I am going to sit here with you to show you it’s not okay to hit your friends”.

“Every child, no matter their age, are competent learners.”

Author and breastfeeding expert Pinky McKay said most parents treated their babies with basic respect and said such an approach could lead to some “walking on eggshells”.